The Pickpocket Putback Principle

The pickpocket pilfers the pockets of the plenty,
placing packages onto his person to please his perverted pleasure.

Podering perhaps that his pathway to pain is predestined,
He proceeds to place packages pointlessly INTO the pockets of pedesrtrians and passersby.

Thereby pouncing the predicament of prison….

Say all that 10 times fast…but just watch the video once.

I know I am not much of a poetry person, but please be polite….

For some reason I gotta go “P”.


Meeting The Fiction In Person

For the last couple of weeks, I have been creating posts about a guy named “The Frantic Man”.

Post 1

Post 2

Post 3

Post 4

He is a fictional character based on my personal experiences and thoughts about the steps and principles of AA from early on in sobriety.

The stories are real…I just made up the character to make it more interesting for reading…..and to be able to write about me without saying it was me.

I am my favorite subject.

I love me some me.

I could talk about me ALL day!

But who wants to sounds egotistical? Not me.

While attending the Men’s conference this weekend I was taken aback by an individual I met.

He is the human equivalent of the fictional character of “the Frantic Man”. He doesnt have a stutter but his quiet and shy demeanor along with the way he draws out his speech gave me chills.

I was speaking with the character I created in my mind.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise to me that our issues with coming into sobriety and dealing with life beyond the bottle were strikingly similar.

Our thoughts and experiences were mirror images. Our fears with honesty with others were carbon copies.

Our uniqueness made change hard.

By the end of the conference, we had exchanged numbers, and I have spoken with him on the phone twice.

Out of respect for fiction becoming reality I will no longer post about “the Frantic Man”.

I am hoping he will create his own story and bring it to life.


If you want to know what I felt like, in a general way, when meeting my character…..then watch this short clip.



The Game Show History Lesson Debacle

Christmas dinner at the in laws. Need I say more?….whether I do or not, I will.

We arrive at the pre specified eating time, which happens to be around noon. Knowing full well that eating will not commence for another 2 hours. Eating on time is the lure….not eating on time is the hook that is always caught in my cheek. So, I sit and wait, as each moment goes by, as the reeling continues, until the meal is ACTUALLY ready to be devoured.

During the waiting period inbetween the promise of food and the getting of food, my wife, step daughter and I sit on the couch and watch what is pre decided to watch. The in laws are game show channel addicts. Today is “The Match Game” marathon!!!! I was so excited I think I actually peed myself.


If you are not familiar with this particular game show…you are not missing much. It has a panel of 6 “stars” from the 70’s who attempt to fill in the blank of a ridiculous question, by writing their answer on a card. The contestant has to attempt to fill in the blank and attempt to get the same answer with as many of the stars as possible. Top prize $20,000.

After episode 5…..yes 5. I made a comment.

“Check it out honey…they finally have an African American on the celebrity panel.”

I am not a celebrities of the ’70’s guru. Of all the episodes. I actually only knew 2 so called celebrities on the show-

1- Charles Nelson Rielly
2- Richard Dawson

I just found it odd that so far only one person of color was represented. after that one comment….the fun began.

My 14 year old step daughter…in complete seriousness replies,

“It’s probably because that was when slavery ended.”


I looked at her and said, “Slavery ended in the 1970’s?….Which president abolished slavery?”

“I don’t know..” she replied, knowing that eventhough school was not in session, Professor Step Dad was unleashed to teach her something.

I looked her in the eye with a smile and said, “Remember Abraham Lincoln?”

She quickly recoiled and said, “OH NO NOT THIS AGAIN!”

And yet, it was this again.

Please venture into the archive retreival chamber to revisit our first “Encounter with Lincoln”- The Login

Ahh…memory lane.

Back to the story.

I asked, “What was Preident Lincoln known for?”

She replied, “…….the penny?….no wait….the top hat….umm…I know who the first 3 presidents were!”

Deflection technique. Admirable….But, she still had to know the answer to her bold statement.

“Ok, I’ll bite on this one. Name them.”

Her eyes opened slightly wider….she stumbled for words then replied,

“George Washington was the first. Thomas Jefferson was the second. James Madison was the third…WAIT!…maybe Jefferson was the 3rd….and some guy named Adam might have been the second…Give me a minute.”

As she takes her minute to decide, please watch a video which about sums up my brain at this point of the conversation.

She squints her eyes, scratches her head, and sighs. as she is about to reply, we hear from the kitchen,

“Dinner is ready! Let’s eat!”

My stepdaughter smiles big as she lets out an exhale and says,

“That was a close one….I’m hungry. Let’s eat.”

Still smiling, she pats me on the leg, flips her hair and heads to the table.

I try to stop her but the proverbial hook in my cheek gives its final tug.


Irony Of An Earworm

The earworm is a funny thing. it’s a song that gets into your head and stays there until you can find a way to get it out. I have had this particular song in my head for a few days. I figured to get it out I would head to my local music store and purchase the bands “Greatest Hits” CD and listen to it a few times to release it from its captivity inside my head.

The irony of the whole thing is this….

The only CD I found, had all of their hits…..except this one.

Indeed, a Cheap Trick has been played on me…

Aint that a shame.


5 Day Momma’s Boy

I got to be with my Mom for 5 days this week. I haven’t seen her in 2 years. Before I got sober the Mother/Son bond was about severed. Today I can say it is not. I have been reminded of the joys of being her son.

This song is one of many she couldn’t stand but I played over and over….loudly, when I was much younger. Strangely enough she remembered it and didn’t mind it so much this time around.


No Snack For You

Twinkies are about to be no more.

Potheads will have to settle for Zingers….because

Twinkies are about to be no more.

This pivotal scene from “Die Hard” would not
of had the same lasting powerful effect, if John McClane were eating a 1000 year old zinger.

Twinkies are about to be no more.

My snacking tendencies are are bankrupt as Hostess.

Hopefully the fried pork rind industry is not in jeopardy…

Twinkies are about to be no more.