The Small Talk


Today, my boss asked me to go back to a job we did last week.

Apparently, a few of the deckboards were sticking up or did not get screwed down properly.

He said the owner would be there, just introduce yourself, tell him what you are there to do, do it and get out.

I said-

I’m pretty sure I can handle it….I’m not a complete idiot.

I went to the jobsite, saw the owner and said-

Hello, I’m good2begone…I hear you have a few screws loose.

Maybe…just maybe, I need some work on my presentation.            

Image-bumpy Brain

The Ducknot




Things are looking up in the land of good2begone!

Yesterday at work, I was walking with my head down watching my feet so I wouldn’t fall on the rocky landscape…

And walked full force into a horizontal metal pole.

Almost fell unconscious.

Thought I broke my nose.

I didnt.

Just broke my stride….

While a few choice adult words that rhyme with…

Duck and hit

Fell from my mouth.

Basically I jarred my neck so good that it hurts to look down.

So I have to look up.

Note to self-

Let the feet do the walking
The eyes do the watching

Duck when necessary

Not me…but a fair representation of the event

The Buzz


Cheating is a serious allegation in any form or facet.

In any gameplay, the accusation better be backed up with fact or you may get your ass handed to you.

The number 1 chess player in the world lost a match to a 19 year old American, who coincidentally is ranked number 49.

He is being accused of cheating to win.

How did he cheat….in chess?…..

There are 2 scenarios-

1-the ‘ol vibrating shoe trick


My guess-the shoe is hooked up to a wifi signal after the champ makes his move, someone remotely puts that move into a computer program  and sends the best move to counter to the shoe.

Or…something like that.

The second scenario kicks ass!!

It is being reported that the 19 year old American could have quite possibly been using…..

Wait for it….

VIBRATING ANAL BEADS

……….
……….
……….

What the…who the….why the…

Just win baby.

But dont get caught with your pants down.



The Now Know Row


I talk a lot of nonsense.

Sometimes I try to pass it off as fact.

How do I know that they know?

Yeah…thats the look.

Even Stella knows when I’m full of crap….

Eventually, I will learn how to pass off what I think I know to those whose dont think I know and then we will all know that I’m in the know….

Ya know?

What a strange word….

The Teething Ring



My siblings and I are at the age where we all have to keep tabs on our Mother.

She is over 80 now.

She lives with my younger brother in Colorado.

I live in Texas.

I have another brother in another part of our expansive state.

I have a brother in Vermont.

Lastly, I have a sister in the Big Apple of NYC.

Big family.. all spread out.

Yesterday, I received a text from my sister-

“Have you talked to Mom lately?”

“Yeah, I talked to her a couple of days ago… Why?”

“Shes kind of slurring her words and having a hard time with sentences…”

“Ok, I’ll check on her when I get off work.”

“Thank you. I’m just worried shes old you know.”

“Yeah, I got it.”

So…..

I get off work and call my Mom-

Me- hey Mom, just checkin in what’s going on?

Her- nothing just hanging out with your brothers daughters making cookies having a good time…

Me- your daughter called me and said you were having problems talking last time she talked to you. Is everything ok?

Her- Huh? I just talked to her this morning about going up to see her and to get arrangements set for flights and all. I was half awake when she called and didnt have my teeth in yet.

Me- You…didnt…have..your…teeth…in…
Ok. Shes a moron.

Family…sometimes I just cant sink my teeth into why they cant get all the information before jumping to conclusions.

Uggh.


The Phenomenon


On a positive yet strange note….

It appears that here in my little corner of central Texas, that a strange phenomenon is occuring.

What seems to be particles of H2O are falling from the sky at an exponential rate.

Not sure what to make of it.

Conspiracy theorist in our area are saying it will probably be happening all day quite possibly into tomorrow.

Also strange noises that resemble a bowling being throw down an alley and flashes of light from the sky as well.

Strange days, indeed.

The Choices


Its mid week…..

Under normal circumstances that would mean planning out the weekend in advance.

Grandkids.

House chores.

Anything else that cant be crammed into the workweek.

BUT NOT THIS WEEKEND

My younger than me wife has a getaway from friday through Sunday.

She said- I’m spending the weekend with my people. What are you going to do?

I said- I will spend the weekend with my people as well.

She looked at me quizzically and said-

You have people?

I replied- yeah, me, myself, and I.

I may just get off work, sit on the sofa and stare at the walls the entire time.

Might teach the dogs yoga.

Might learn to play the bagpipes.

Or

Might just relax and recoup and
Rejuvenate.

The world is my oyster for 48 hours.

Mmmm..

Oysters…..

Disclaimer-not me or my wall