I have never left the grocery store as befuddled as a did today…..
I don’t even know what befuddled means…I just wanted to use a word I haven’t used before.
Stymied didn’t feel right. Aghast didn’t sound right. Catastrophically awestruck is taking it a bit too far.
So…befuddled I was.
We went to the store because my wife wanted salad for dinner…..not as an appetizer…. for the main course.
That’s not what caused the befuddlement.
I don’t know what it is with women and salad. I like salad…I just expect steak after the salad. But that was not in the cards for me this evening. No sweat though, I stopped at McNasty’s and gobbled down 2 McDoubles and a McChicken on the way home from work.
Anyway, we get to the store and retrieve our salad making accessories
Tom-A-Toes…..or is it tomatoes (I don’t know)
You know the basics for a vegetarian buffet…
So we are at the checkout line and I glance over to the office and I see a chip display that left me….
I have a firm belief that the entire marketing and new product division of this fine Snack food company need to lay off the reefer.
I love chicken. I love waffles. I’m a pretty big fan of chips too….
BUT NOT ALL IN THE SAME BAG!
I can picture the staff meeting when this decision was made.
“Dude….I love chicken and waffles.”
“Whoa…me too dude. You know what else I love…potato chips.”
“Hey…remember that old commercial when the dude with the peanut butter crashed into the dude with the chocolate?….that was cool…”
“WHOA!! Check this out….why don’t we like make chips that taste like chicken and waffles….all the taste without all the mess….we would be made Kings or something….that would be awesome!!…dude.”
And low and behold…the chips were created.
Speaking of stoners….I bought a bottle of cold coffee at the store…
To get the full effect you have to say in your best Jamaican accent-
“da groove is not just in da reggae music mon…it is in da beans as well.”
I may never be allowed to go grocery shopping again.