Once upon a time there lived a couple named the good2begone’s. They were a happy couple who together raised 2 children.
Those 2 children got into relationships and had children of their own.
A total of 5 children….all under 5 (age and height)
And they all moved out over time, and started lives of their own and began to live out their dreams as independent young adults! Leaving the happy couple, know as their parents, to live out their dream of having an empty nest.
THE END…..
Until a month and a half later
When the end wasn’t the end after all…..
Well it was the end….
Of our empty nest dream.
Through the course of 3 days, our home went from 2 adults 2 dogs
To
4 adults and 1 infant
And
5 dogs…..
All under the age of 5 (age and height)
So for all you empty nesters out there….enjoy it while it lasts….
My wife and I are in the process of becoming adoptive parents.
It’s quite the process.
From our lawyer, who is also a friend of ours, to my boss and various other individuals we hear the same thing-
“Yall know you’re crazy…..right?”
We just reply with a smile-
“Yeah…we know.”
Here’s a little backstory which brought us into this…..process.
I’m 52 about to be 53. My wife is…..younger than me.
I’m older and wise enough not to reveal a woman’s age….
She has 2 children that together we have raised into adulthood. They have started their own families.
Our son has 3 boys…all under the age of 5, by 2 different baby mammas. He is now single.
Our daughter has had 2 girls. Her first died during childbirth. Terrible tragedy that could have been avoided if the doctors had a lick of sense among them.
Her second is 10 months old. She is about to be divorced.
My wife n I spend a lot of time with our grandkids.
All of our grandchildren are angels….even when they are not.
If you are a grandparent…then you get it.
I never had kids of my own.
I call it “the curse”.
When I was in my early 20’s, a young lady I was dating got pregnant by me.
We decided on abortion.
And it has haunted me ever since.
Even after that, rarely if at all did I use protection.
Therefore, the curse kept me from being a father.
Stupid..I know..but that’s what I believe.
Adoption has always been on my mind.
I come from a family where 3 of my 4 siblings were adopted.
Early ’80’s fashion….glad that’s over. Same with those bowl haircuts.
Anyways…that’s my family from growing up. Once they were adopted they were just my brothers and sister.
So adoption isn’t new to me.
But this process sure is.
Here’s the current state of our process-
My wife and I have a friend whose daughter is 16 and pregnant.
She has college and future ambitions that would not be possible if she were to be raising a child.
The young lady had full intent of having an abortion.
Even went as far as going to the clinic to get it done. But, she couldn’t afford it.
The young lady’s mom had a talk with my wife about it.
My wife, in turn had a talk with her and her daughter, telling them if she would be willing to have the baby, then we would adopt the baby.
She agreed.
That’s where the journey begins.
This blog will now be my sounding board for this process.
The good, bad, joys, frustrations and all the emotions that go along with it.
All leading up the the hopeful endgame of becoming an adoptive parents.
At 52 years old….and my wife being younger than me.
The adoption process through the eyes, words and mind of good2begone.
In the almost 7 years I have known my wife…meaning the 4 1/2 we have been married and the previous 3 when I stalked and studied her every move to find my way in.
Wait…don’t get the wrong idea…”stalked” is probably the wrong word……It’s not like I hung out in the bushes with binoculars from across the street and borrowed various vehicles to follow her around or anything like that….much.
I just knew she was the one and I had to make sure she knew it too…
That doesn’t sound much better….let me move along to the reason for this post.
I have watched the kids grow from children to young adults. It is amazing how much they have changed.
I am comfortable with their growth and impending morphignation into adulthood.
(Sweet I just made up a new word.)
My wife……is not.
In the last month, there have been both positive and negative changes in the life of my stepson.
On the plus-
He got his first vehicle.
On the neg-
He got his first hangover.
On the plus-
He got his first job.
I personally found no negative to this. He is of age to work. It will build confidence and keep my wallet on the plus side.
Booyah.
His first day was today. 2 hours before his scheduled arrival, at said job, he was overcome with a wave of nausea.
First day jitters…I get it.
He was ready to go. My wife was not ready for him to go.
Him–“I need to put gas in my truck before work.”
Mom–“Would you like me to follow you to the gas station and put gas in for you?”
Stepdad/Husband–“Seriously?? I’m quite sure he has the ability to do it himself.”
Mom–“Well…I don’t want him to smell like gas on his first day.”
Him–“……..”
Stepdad/Husband–“People have been putting gas in their vehicles before they go to work since the invention of jobs, cars and gas, honey. Besides, its not like he is going to use it for deodorant. Do you want to walk him into the front doors of his job and follow him around all day as well?”
Mom–“Yes…Yes I do. Do you have a problem with that?”
I just look at her with a smirk.
Him– “Ummm…I have a problem with that….and I gotta go. Bye. See you after work.”
Mom– “Ok, honey. I love you. Have a great first day. I will be here so you can tell me all about it when you get home.” She says as tears well up in her eyes as he walks out.
Stepdad/Husband–“He is gonna grow up whether you like if or not. Let him grow up gracefully.”
Mom–“I’m trying. He is my little boy. Before we know it he will be moving out of the house.”
Stepdad/Husband–“Only if ‘before we know it’ means 30 years old..Come on honey, I think you need some retail therapy to help you deal with the kids growing up.”
Off to the mall we went.
I thought my wallet was supposed to maintain the green once the kids grew up. Turns out it will stay in the red until my wife lets them….
To keep myself from repeating repeating myself (see what I did there?) I have to revisit the past.
OFF I GO!!
To the Batcave!!
To anyone who is new to my “humble space of words”, there may be some posts that are so far hidden in the archive chamber that they are missed or lost. I hate to leave you out of the fruit loops.
Here are a list of a few that I had the most fun sharing-
Toopid Moose– a fiction story that rattled in my head for a few days. It started with only those two words.
Christmas dinner at the in laws. Need I say more?….whether I do or not, I will.
We arrive at the pre specified eating time, which happens to be around noon. Knowing full well that eating will not commence for another 2 hours. Eating on time is the lure….not eating on time is the hook that is always caught in my cheek. So, I sit and wait, as each moment goes by, as the reeling continues, until the meal is ACTUALLY ready to be devoured.
During the waiting period inbetween the promise of food and the getting of food, my wife, step daughter and I sit on the couch and watch what is pre decided to watch. The in laws are game show channel addicts. Today is “The Match Game” marathon!!!! I was so excited I think I actually peed myself.
Anyhoo.
If you are not familiar with this particular game show…you are not missing much. It has a panel of 6 “stars” from the 70’s who attempt to fill in the blank of a ridiculous question, by writing their answer on a card. The contestant has to attempt to fill in the blank and attempt to get the same answer with as many of the stars as possible. Top prize $20,000.
After episode 5…..yes 5. I made a comment.
“Check it out honey…they finally have an African American on the celebrity panel.”
I am not a celebrities of the ’70’s guru. Of all the episodes. I actually only knew 2 so called celebrities on the show-
1- Charles Nelson Rielly
2- Richard Dawson
I just found it odd that so far only one person of color was represented. after that one comment….the fun began.
My 14 year old step daughter…in complete seriousness replies,
“It’s probably because that was when slavery ended.”
“……………………………”
I looked at her and said, “Slavery ended in the 1970’s?….Which president abolished slavery?”
“I don’t know..” she replied, knowing that eventhough school was not in session, Professor Step Dad was unleashed to teach her something.
I looked her in the eye with a smile and said, “Remember Abraham Lincoln?”
She quickly recoiled and said, “OH NO NOT THIS AGAIN!”
And yet, it was this again.
Please venture into the archive retreival chamber to revisit our first “Encounter with Lincoln”- The Login
Ahh…memory lane.
Back to the story.
I asked, “What was Preident Lincoln known for?”
She replied, “…….the penny?….no wait….the top hat….umm…I know who the first 3 presidents were!”
Deflection technique. Admirable….But, she still had to know the answer to her bold statement.
“Ok, I’ll bite on this one. Name them.”
Her eyes opened slightly wider….she stumbled for words then replied,
“George Washington was the first. Thomas Jefferson was the second. James Madison was the third…WAIT!…maybe Jefferson was the 3rd….and some guy named Adam might have been the second…Give me a minute.”
As she takes her minute to decide, please watch a video which about sums up my brain at this point of the conversation.
She squints her eyes, scratches her head, and sighs. as she is about to reply, we hear from the kitchen,
“Dinner is ready! Let’s eat!”
My stepdaughter smiles big as she lets out an exhale and says,
“That was a close one….I’m hungry. Let’s eat.”
Still smiling, she pats me on the leg, flips her hair and heads to the table.
I try to stop her but the proverbial hook in my cheek gives its final tug.
Good2begone 