Halloween, for some, means dressing up and going Trick or Treating. For others, it means staying home and handing out candy.
For me, it means something completely different.
It means it’s time for an ER visit.
A sharp blade and a profusely bleeding appendage are always involved.
It’s not like I did it to save my life like the guy in “127 Hours”
The blade used to commit the cut that (almost) severed my appendage off was a utility knife used primary for cutting Sheetrock.
The appendage that bled profusely was my left thumb.
Not quite as dramatic as an entire foot or arm…..but the thumb is pretty important.
Ask a spider monkey.
He doesn’t have thumbs….he has at tail….I don’t want a tail, therefore my thumb is important.
I was in a rush to finish hanging Sheetrock at our current job location, a community Church.
I just replaced the dull blade with a new blade in the utility knife so I would get a clean razor cut.
On the Sheetrock….not my thumb.
I placed the blade on the edge of my mark next you straightedge and began yanking the knife toward me.
Apparently, my straight edge was not thick enough and my thumb was way too close to the edge.
The knife dodged left and cut into the straightedge and proceeded to continue through the flesh of my thumb up to the base of the thumbnail.
A clean cut.
Right through the meat and to the bone.
I’m stubborn. I didn’t want to go to the hospital. So I cut a piece off my shirt off and wrapped it around my thumb to slow the bleeding until I could bandage it properly.
Note to self-
it’s hard to hide a profusely gaping wound with scraps from an old shirt when a blood trail follows you everywhere you go.
“What did you do?” My Boss asked
“I cut my hand…but I am not going to the hospital…so don’t ask.”
“Let me see it.” He proceeded to interrogate.
“Nope…I just need a band aid and I can get back to work.” I pleaded
“Well…let me see it…and then I will get you a band aid.” He says
“Ok,” I begin to reply, ” but it’s a gusher. We should go over to my truck so I can bleed in the bed of it and not any more in the church. I don’t want anyone to think an exorcism needs to happen….”
That statement may have marked my undoing……
20 minutes later I am in the ER on the morning of Halloween.
Halloween an the ER go hand in hand for me.
A few years ago I spent some time in the ER, on Halloween, receiving 27 staples in my skull and a cast for my arm when a tree cutting job went awry.