The 5 Quirks

I have recently come to the conclusion that I am a quirky person. I do or don’t do things based on certain criteria.

Here are 5 of them.

1- “I have never seen a movie that is longer than 2 hours and 27 minutes.” My attention span and patience level is not built for that kind of visual commitment.

2- “While driving, I count the number of letters on each billboard. Even= good Odd = bad.” started as a child, never stopped doing it.

3- “Buy a book to read based on the first paragraph” If I can make it through the first paragraph without wanting to put it back… I buy it.

4- “Never spend over $20 for a pair of shoes or a pair of jeans” I’m not cheap….yeah well ok I’m cheap but I love the challenge of finding what I want for that price. It’s possible and it has never failed me.

5-“Time Trial Grocery Shopping” know what I need before I go, spend as little time possible where I am there. Pick up my gold medal at the cash register. Go home. My wife hates this one. Whether I spend $500 or $20, maximum time limit 20 minutes.

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Roll changer

More than 1/2 a decade ago ( sounds dramatic, huh?) I finally had to pay some consequences for my actions. No matter how movies make it seem, being a thieving alcoholic drug addict is not glamorous. It’s the type of bad that just gets worse. It got so bad for me that
I prayed for death as I continued to abuse my favorite things ( bourbon and cocaine oh how I sometimes still miss thee) in hopes of achieving it. But alas the big man upstairs had other plans.

Felony arrest.

Psyche ward.

Short county jail term.

5 year probation.

Rehab.

Small town halfway house.

My reset button had been tripped.

I have been off the sauce and the juice for almost 6 years. I have been a member of “The” 12 step program all that time. Scoff or judge if you will. It works.

Beginning to live at the age of 37 is not fun. The things I took for granted previously take a big role in my life now.

Personal hygiene- being used to not showering I never really smelled myself. Plus massive cocaine use tends to affect the ability to do so.

Work- stealing is not a job although it was a full time occupation.

Relationships-there are no bonds with crooks, dealers, addicts. Just abuse- all forms.

So, now I’m clean ( deodorant and all) I have a steady job that I love (The motto love what you do, do what you love fits nicely here), married. Happily married.

But I have gained a new problem.

I am now a “house cleaning everything has its place put your shoes away do your homework where are my keys stop playing video games does anyone in this house know how to change out a roll of toilet paper how would I know where your bra is time for bed I need to get away so I will go do laundry” step father of 2 husband to one kind of guy.

I have become a male version of my Mother.

I took her for granted too. My payback is doing for my family what she did for ours growing up.

Mom’s never get enough credit for all they do and still they keep doing.

On my short list of role models, she’s at the top.

Salesmen for God

I’m not a fan of “organized religion”. I choose to be a spiritual person rather than a church going book thumper. I am not against anyone who is. As I have stated before….

To each his own.

I took it upon myself….once….to see what the whole church thing was about. I took a very open minded approach. I visited various denominations over a couple of months timeframe. I sat. I listened. I prayed. I tried to be excited about the process.

I went to the library and checked out various books of faith from different religions around the world. I’ve read everything from the Bible to the Koran. (I hope I spelled it correctly), Buddhism to the works of the Dalai Lama. I wanted to learn in order to see if I was missing out in something.

I tried.

From my journey I learned I believe in parts every faith. Disagree with parts of every faith. It taught me that having faith and believing in something greater than me is essential. So basically I found out that ( for me ) I am fine with who I am and I don’t need to go to a “House of Faith” and hear one persons interpretation of what I need to do or believe in.

Since this personal revelation occurred, I have taken the time to acknowledge all the “Salesmen for God” that are out there. At least 2 times a week, there will be a knock at the door. 2-3 people will be there smiling, ready to sell me their God. I log onto Facebook, at least 4-5 people are asking me to see what their God has done for them and he can do it for me….if I hit the like button. The people from the churches that I visited see me around town and tell me I need to come back…their God is waiting for me. The topper was today I got a call from a 1-800 number. I don’t answer but a voicemail was left so I listened. Apparently God has a prayer circle with a toll free number and they want to pray for me.

When they come to my door or see me around town, I tell them honestly where I stand on the faith issue. I get wide eyed blank stares as they back away from my door clutching their books. Next week a new batch will return. I’m never rude, I listen to what they have to say. I guess by not believing it their God I have offended them.

Happiness and faith is a personal issue. What I believe in works for me.

It not broke….so I prefer not to fix it.

Mental Midway

I have been a member of the blogging community for a few short weeks. Each time I log in I am transported to another place. A traveling carnival of gypsies complete with a mental midway.
The journey has no dollar amount placed upon it. But there is a price to be paid.
As you venture into the various realms of possibilities your senses will be tripped beyond imagination without a word being spoken by human lips. The voice box has been replaced by a keyboard. The gypsy will spin tales of truth, fantasy, art, drama, talents and deficiencies for all to come to gaze into the soul of the publisher….one finger stroke at a time.

“Come one, come all into the world of your own imagination! Witness what is under the skin of the humanity you only THINK you know!!”

You may find approval, where before entering the big top you had none. Beware….you may be followed and your cranial extractions shared for other followers to digest and dissect. Fear not my fellow gypsies, you just might get piece of mind, personal serenity, self satisfaction or release from the troubling world that surrounds you.
The carnival is always traveling but is only a click away. It may close when you leave to return your own reality, but will always be open when you want to find others who may be searching the mental midway to fill or empty their soul.
The blogosphere has what need before you you even knew you needed it. Your price will be measured in time. It only matters how much of it you wish to spend to satisfy your mental desires.

“Come one, come all! For sights you can only see with your mind! The written word of gypsy storytellers awaits you. Watch us open our hearts for whomever to see! And then stay so we can see yours! Step right up! Step right up!”