When I was a teenager, back in the big hair ’80’s, I traveled down a lot of different avenues to attempt to get laid.
“hello ladies…can I interest you in a carton of milk from the lunch line?”
You know….
Knock boots
The horizontal mambo
Takin’ the skin boat to beaver town
You get the picture.
I tried my natural charm, gifts, alcohol, begging (which was one of my favorites), and the tried and true telling them I love them.
Don’t judge me….I was a teenager. I also thought parachute pants were totally rad, dude.
Now…
Many
Many years later, I am the stepfather to a 17 year old boy.
Uggghh.
He has natural charm…..but his avenues are a bit more on the extreme side of getting laid-dom.
In the past 6 months, he has asked 2 girls to marry him.
After snooping through his text messages last night…..
DONT JUDGE ME….I have a teen who believes marriage = sex.
Have you not been following along here?
Anyhoo,
Last night, the text messages reveal that he has upped his count to 3.
Instead of giving him a verbal beat down about getting married young and the misuse of the “L” word, and babies, we are taking a different approach.
Truth be told….
I have cunningly convinced my wife that we should encourage him to get married.
I’m pretty sly for a white guy.
Besides that, my wife and I already gave him the financial and responsibility beat down after proposal 1…..and 2.
I have a plan.
What could possibly go wrong?
______________
To be continued….
I do not know the ladies with the big hair in the picture above….I just searched “big hair in the ’80’s pics” and there they were.
Please, don’t judge me….
Good2begone 