The Fork Off

I blame the show “Seinfeld”.

Plain and bones about it.

It’s that damn TV show that has and will be in syndicated re runs for eternity that caused this mess…or lack there of it.

I could just be making something out of nothing….


I should probably get PETA involved.

They have to be stopped…


Whoever decided to breed and raise boneless chickens.

They must have some stealth operation going on. I have Googled, Bing, Yahooed, and even used some search engines that run off guinea pigs running on a wheel for one thing-

“Boneless chicken pics”

Not cooked, fried, breaded, grilled, or baked boneless chickens

Actual rolling around boneless chickens.

(They can’t walk without bones so they must be rollers.)

I found one pic.

20130823-211950.jpgNot what I was looking for.

Chicken wings are fun to eat. They are messy AND delicious.

That is a winning combo.

But that damn George Costanza and his eating a snickers with a fork has ruined it all.

No melting chocolate and nougat on the hands means less napkins wasted and better etiquette..I guess.

There is nothing more American than going to a restaurant and seeing patrons with buffalo wing sauce covering their faces and hands…

And mounds of used napkins on the floor.

The need for etiquette is taking all of that away.

I’m not a pinkie raiser..

I choose to raise a different finger.

Once the bones are taken out of the wings they can no longer be called wings.

Chickens without bones need a new go to phrase to separate itself from everything else.

How about-

Boneless chicken…the other…other white meat.

Seinfeld…stick to big salads and bring masters of your domain, but leave our etiquette deficiencies alone.

It’s one more thing that makes America great.