The Brewing


After 18 years of continuous sobriety my wife started drinking again.

Not being able to adopt the baby was the final straw in a haystack built over a lifetime of trauma that sealed the deal.

18 years.

We have been married for over 13.

Simple math.

I had never seen her drink alcohol.

Now I have.

To say that there will be a rough road ahead is an understatement.

But, I said “I do” to ALL of the cliche vows that go with being married and I’m sticking to them.

We met in sobriety. I didn’t marry her because of it.

I love her and will do whatever it takes to help her.

Except, drink with her.

The storm is brewing, another change on the horizon.

Damn, this life.

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Rain On The Parade


20131014-122624.jpgKicked in the teeth by reality.

That is what it feels like.

Start the day with a sober anniversary,

End the day with a sobering fact.

Recovery from addiction….ANY addiction is….hard.

There are zero guarantees. No warranties. No refunds.

Either sit at the table and go all in

Or

Try to bluff.

The problem with bluffing in recovery is the only one stuck with the consequences of the bluff…

IS THE ONE BLUFFING.

Dilly dally

with recovery and your results will be

dally dillied.

A guy I know from the start of my recovery took his own life this weekend.

I last saw him at the AA International Convention in San Antonio a few years ago.

Young. Smart. Alcoholic.

Dead.

A person I know, who was on the verge of a multiple year sober anniversary, decided it was a good idea to go on a NyQuil shooter binge.

Ummm….

The cup on top is not a shot glass…..and I don’t believe the recommended dosage is set at a bottle at a time…..especially if you are not coughing, sniffling, sneezing, aching, don’t have stuffy head, and are not attempting rest.

I’m pissed.

I’ve been listening to Bleach by Nirvana on repeat since last night.

20131014-122714.jpg
It’s fueling my emotions rather than calming them.

But I’m good.

I’m just confused.

Recovery is not a quick fix.

It takes time.

Tick tock tick tock

A lot of time.

A lifetime.

Active recovery means time on your side.

Bluffing recovery means…

Time out.

Tick tock tick tock
Tick tock tick…..
Tick tock…..
Tick….
……
.