The Wordless


Photographic Memory Lapse

I have this photo, in a collage of photos, that was given to me by my Mother. I can recall the timeframe from which they were all taken. They bring back fond memories of different stages of my upbringing.

All, except one. I look at this photo and have absolutely no recollection of it. I am wearing some sort of costume. It’s not Halloween. I know that because someone else in the background is wearing a similar costume. I don’t believe it was EVER considered a popular one for identity seeking children of my age.

Here are the possible scenarios I have come up with-

-payback for the countless times I used to duct tape the paws of my Mother’s cat in order to watch him flail around to attempt to walk normally. Still hilarious by the way.

-the annual Albino Squirrel Foundations Charity Gala. Gathering all the nuts to be on the parade float.

– my parents may have been short on cash and donated me to be a lab rat for testing on a new drug to aid in curing a disease. They figured I needed to dress the part.

-casting for the part of Ralphie in the timeless film, “A Christmas Story”. If you have seen it, no further explanation will be required.

-it has been said that a cat will always land on his feet. This may be the before photo. Soon after this was taken I might have been taken to the roof of the building, held upside down and thrown off to test the before mentioned theory.

Which could quite possibly be the reason I don’t remember the timeframe of my life.



What happened here?

I finally decided to post a picture with my blog. I like being kind of anonymous with my blog life, so it’s not a recent pic. I’m guessing it’s circa late ’70’s. Sometime before my youth became misspent but after my parents began to learn I wasn’t as angelic as they had hoped for.

I’m not sure if I am pouting because I didn’t get what I wanted, which happened often, or I was being scolded for something. As a child I got scolded often. My brothers and I often joke that we never really knew our names. The common question heard around our household from our Dad was-

“What have you shittin’ kids done now?”

I began to ponder what may have prompted my Mother to take this picture in the first place. Shuffling through the cluttered file closet that represents my memories I came up with a few guesses…..

1- I once left a bowling ball in the front yard. No pins, just the ball. A friend of mine thought it was a plastic blow up bouncy ball and took a sprint at it to try to kick it to the moon…… The ball didn’t move and he received 3 broken toes for his trouble.

2- I once shot my brother in the back with a BB gun. To be fair I gave him a running start, and I was normally a terrible shot. Normally…

3- I once started up a game of baseball in the front yard. We didn’t have a baseball, per say, but we did have a nice set of colorful Croquet balls. One dining room window and a family heirloom vase later the game was over.

4- I once, or twice, or multiply times placed pieces of sticky tape on the paws of my Mom’s cat. Still hilarious. For me…not my Mom.

I really don’t know what I did to be immortalized in this sad yet poignant pose. I stopped well short of the 1000 words it may be worth, but it’s still priceless none the less.