The Buzz


Cheating is a serious allegation in any form or facet.

In any gameplay, the accusation better be backed up with fact or you may get your ass handed to you.

The number 1 chess player in the world lost a match to a 19 year old American, who coincidentally is ranked number 49.

He is being accused of cheating to win.

How did he cheat….in chess?…..

There are 2 scenarios-

1-the ‘ol vibrating shoe trick


My guess-the shoe is hooked up to a wifi signal after the champ makes his move, someone remotely puts that move into a computer program  and sends the best move to counter to the shoe.

Or…something like that.

The second scenario kicks ass!!

It is being reported that the 19 year old American could have quite possibly been using…..

Wait for it….

VIBRATING ANAL BEADS

……….
……….
……….

What the…who the….why the…

Just win baby.

But dont get caught with your pants down.



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Letter Point


The most efficient way to reach point B from point A is a straight line. Which is true in some cases-

The asteroid that took out the dinosaurs

The bullet that ended the life of a world leader

The dart that hit the bullseye

Get the point as quickly and efficiently as possible.

But a lie can travel from a-z and back again before the truth can ever get to c.

The O,M,G’s and R,O,T,F,L,M,A,O’s of a lie get more traction than the A,B,C’s of the truth.

T,B,H the truth is non dramatic, straightforward…to the point.

The lie is W,T,F and N,S,F,W…..click bait. It makes the brain tingle with wonder.

The truth induces the ZZZ.

The end of the line. It is what it is.

While a lie is the winding road of the S.

A new twist around every curve.

I don’t know which path you choose….

But now you know some of my A,B,C’s I’ll let you figure out if ya wanna sing with me.

T,T,Y,L.

Miss D. Meaner


If you are not going to get busted by the men in blue for a crime that fits your name….at least, get all the bang out of your stupidity you can.

This is out of news sources everywhere. This particular portion was taken from the Huffington Post-

Crystal Metheny, 36, was arrested last month for shooting a “missile” into a vehicle, according to records from the Polk County Sheriff’s Office in Florida.

It should be noted that under Florida law, a “missile” can be defined as “a stone or other hard substance,” so this should not be construed to mean that she was necessarily launching rockets into passing cars.

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(Polk County mugshots)

Seriously….

Her name is Crystal Methany?

No word on whether she was accompanied by her known accomplices

Coe Cain
Ann Fetamine

Or
Hal Lucinigen

They were probably busy at “pottery” class….

For the news that’s too obviously ridiculous to puff puff pass….

I’m good2begone….

And you’re not.

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(That’s not me)

Drunk, Drunk, Goose


The holidays and drinking games go hand in hand for some.

Some….take them too far.

Remember the child’s game duck duck goose?

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It’s not just for kids anymore!

Some creative citizens on the east coast modified the game to add a bit of excitement to their drinking lives.

The principle of the child’s game is this-

A group of players sit in a circle, facing inward, while another player, the “picker” (a.k.a. the “fox”), (some young children call the “picker” the “ducker”) walks around tapping or pointing to each player in turn, calling each a “duck” until finally picking one to be a “goose”. The “goose” then rises and chases and tries to tag the “picker”, while the “picker” tries to return to and sit where the “goose” had been sitting. If the picker succeeds, the “goose” is now the new picker and the process begins again. If the “goose” succeeds in tagging the picker, the “goose” may return to sit in the previous spot and the “picker” resumes the process.

The adaption for drunk players is this-

The “goose” helps the picker get out of jail until their impending court date.

Let’s go to the news wire courtesy of the Huffington Post for the story…

A woman busted for allegedly driving while in intoxicated in New Jersey last week had to call three different friends to pick her up from the police station, because the first two showed up under the influence, according to police. Those two were also arrested, the Hunterdon County Democrat reported.

THE PICKER
The first of the three stooges to get in trouble in Readington Township on the night of Dec. 16 was Carmen Reategui, 34. Police told the Democrat that Reategui swerved while driving and that she failed a field sobriety tests.

DUCK-
She called Nina Petracca to pick her up, but police threw the 23-year-old into a cell, because she showed up visibly intoxicated, according to the Express-Times. Officers claim that they found seven illegal Vicodin pills in Petracca’s purse, so she was slapped with an additional charge of possession of a controlled substance to go with the DUI.

DUCK
Later, the ladies called Ryan Hogan to spring them, but he too arrived looking half in the bag and failed sobriety tests, police allege.

GOOSE
Finally, a fourth adult arrived who was sober enough to drive.
________

Notice the goose was deemed sober
Enough” to drive.

Keep it classy New Jersey.

Gone Courtin’


Real people do really dumb things….and that’s why I read the news that makes me feel better about myself.

Like this little doozy out of the state on the left coast that should be filed under the category-

“If at first you don’t succeed…. please just stop trying”

In a press release issued by the Redding Police Department, officers say a man was detained after being found driving a truck that had been reported stolen earlier that morning.That’s when police say he made a surprising confession to officers.
He admitted to officers that he stole the truck because he needed a ride to court for an unrelated stolen vehicle case.

Let me put that in non news terms-

This genius stole a truck to get to a court date for stealing a truck.

Aye dios mio…..

SOMEBODY GIVE THIS GUY A BUS PASS!!

Name of the genius truck stealer, who needs a truck to get to court for stealing a truck, has been omitted to protect his stupidity.

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Or, Well, Was, Is


Daily prompt- Retrospctive

The Man of Steel returned
Only on the screens
“T, J, and the Way of the A”
We’re not his motives,
He only needed money…
So it seems.

The whistles were blowing
The spies and scandals abound
Clowns on the left
Jokers to the right
In the middle, no amusement
Our cries make no sound.

The race started with a bang
A yearly festival of running
That always bring cheer
It ended with a boom
No stanza or rhyme
Can dissipate the fear.

Motown is headed south
It’s soul lies in limbo
How does a city fall
When the building don’t crumble
I wish I knew the answer
But it’s not that simple

2013 is not gone
Only halfway by the number
Orwell might be a prophet
The year, his only blunder.

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The Essence Of The Shine


A couple of weeks ago I wrote a fictional story called “The Shine“.

It is the story of a reporter who is looking for a human interest story to save his job.

He stumbles upon a “homeless man” who has immaculately shined shoes.

In the story, he meets the kid who shines his shoes. This kid learns from the homeless man how to be a better person.

Today I came across a story on ABC news while surfing the web.

I couldn’t have planned this if I tried….

Shoeshiner Donates $200,000 in Tips

A lot of us talk” about what we’d like to do to help others, if we only had the time or the money. How much we could do to make the world a better world, “if we only had … ”

You should meet Albert Lexie. I did. He is one of the most impressive human beings I’ve ever met and I’ve met a few folk over the years.

Albert Lexie is 71. He is a shoeshine man. It is the only job he has ever had. He started when he was 15. Albert is the kind of man you might see at the mall and walk past. Or get a glimpse of him on the street and avoid making eye contact.

Albert has been described to me as “developmentally disabled.” He is painfully shy. There is a childlike innocence to this kind man.

But Albert Lexie has donated more than $200,000 to Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh. It’s his tip money. For the past 36 years, Albert has taken every dime of his tip money from shining shoes and donated the cash to the charity of his choice. He got the idea watching telethons.

We interviewed several people at Children’s Hospital about Albert. Most had tears in their eyes and a smile on their faces. As one person described it, “Albert has only one skill: shining shoes. And he gives it everything he has.”

Albert considers that “one skill” a gift from God. Albert is a man of faith and says it demands that whatever gift or gifts God gives him, he is obligated and rejoicing for the opportunity to share it.

Albert’s only regret: He is not able to open a large chain of shoeshine shops across the country, which would enable him to give more. He has one shoeshine cart a friend (customer) built for him. It was an upgrade from the shoeshine box he carried on his shoulder for years.

So, 1 skill PLUS 1 shoeshine box PLUS 1 shoeshine man EQUALS $200,659 and counting.

Albert shines shoes at Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh every Tuesday and Thursday. He leaves his home before the sun comes up, usually about 4:30 a.m.

He doesn’t own a car so he takes the bus. Ninety minutes and two bus rides later, Albert arrives at the hospital to use his one skill to make a living and make life better for people (children mostly) he will never meet.

So what’s that about you don’t have the time or the money to help someone else? Two words and one thought. Albert Lexie. Serve where you stand.

Coincidence?

Luck?

Doesn’t matter.

Keep blogging.

Never know what might happen.

It’s goood2begone.

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It’s better to be like Albert Lexie.

The Smoking Knife Incident


A 23 year old woman was booked for a domestic dispute and charged with assault in the small town I call home.

She hurled an 11 inch butcher knife at her live in boyfriend…..while he was holding their 9 month old child.

Her response to police while being questioned on why she would do such a thing……

“He didn’t bring me cigarettes on the way home from his job…I had none when he got here…..and then he said I didn’t need them when I haven’t done any cleaning of our mobile home…..I told him when he went to work I needed to catch up on Duck Dynasty….so no, I didn’t do any cleaning. Then I threw the first thing I saw at him. It happened to be the knife I was using to clean my toenails…what would you have done?”

No listing of a response from the officer who took the statement. Except,

“Put your hands behind your back, we have some silver bracelets we would like you to try on.”

I love living here.

Disclaimer- knife for toenail cleaning was added for dramatic effect…the rest is true.

The child was not harmed during the incident….the boyfriend has moved out and vowed to do his own cleaning from now on.

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Floordrainaphobia


I woke up this morning and dragged myself out of bed.

Went to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee.

Sat down to enjoy it and to read a bit of the news.

I open CNN.com on my iPhone 4 (with the cracked screen).

The top story was this-

Florida Man Swallowed By Sinkhole in Bedroom

(CNN) – A man swallowed by sinkhole under his bedroom in Florida is believed dead, authorities said early Friday, after monitoring equipment found no signs of life.

The 36-year-old “is presumed dead” after the incident Thursday night, according to Jessica Damico, a spokeswoman for the Hillsborough County Fire Department.

“It’s not confirmed, but I think it’s safe to presume,” she said.

Engineers used monitoring equipment to search for signs of life without success. Some of the equipment went missing in the process.

“There is no evidence of him being alive,” she said.

The victim cried out to his brother for help as the hole that opened up under his bedroom in Brandon, a suburb of Tampa. The brother tried frantically to pull him out.

Rescuers had to take the brother away from the edge of the chasm as it continued to grow, with the lost man nowhere in sight.

Using radar, engineers determined the sinkhole is about 100 feet in diameter, but it is not visible above ground except from inside the house.

The ground covering the massive cavity is mostly intact, but it could buckle, taking the entire house down with it — as well as neighboring homes.

Authorities have evacuated the neighborhood.

I wanted to shut off my phone and go back to bed….but after reading this I didn’t think it was a very viable option.

Fear of sleeping in bed because a sinkhole might swallow me is new on my list of ever expanding phobias.

I will call it floordrainaphobia

Truth is (once again) stranger than fiction.

Final word-

I either need to quit reading the news or sleep on a hammock.

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