When the wife is away…..the recover…er will try to get away with what he is not supposed to.
Day 1 into my at home recovery from surgery. My wife has gone back to work and has left me with strict instructions to not over do it and just relax.
My stepdaughter has been left in charge and has enough contact numbers to make a mathematician dizzy.
In my favor…she doesn’t typically wake up until noon. She is a teenager on summer break which means up until the wee hours doing nothing.
I am an early bird. I don’t like worms, but I am not good at doing nothing.
I got up and got to stepping.
First off a shave, which means face and head. In attempt to not over use my injured right arm, I completed the task left handed. Tedious but effective.
Next, shower and clean up. I have had 2 showers in the last 6 days.
As I grabbed a towel. I happened to notice it was the last one….which meant I DESPERATELY had to do laundry.
I rounded up dirty towels and started the washing machine.
After brushing my teeth, I heard a knock at the door.
My wife, being much more sneaky than I realized, asked a friend to come by to check on me under the disguise of giving me new age medical treatment.
The treatment- LASER TREATMENT
Which is the use of a cold laser to reduce inflammation, pain and increase healing time.
I have inflammation. Here is an adequate picture representation of what my two arms look like side by side-
“I yam what I yam….and that’s all that I am“-Popeye
I let her in and she asks-
“Umm…are you doing laundry? I thought I heard the machine running as I walked up?”
“No no no. I’m not supposed to be doing anything. There must be a storm coming.”
“The sky is clear. No clouds anywhere.”
Me with a smile-
“It’s a distant storm.”
She takes out her light saber and goes to work as I sit calmly on the sofa. She then asks-
“Didn’t you have more hair when I was here yesterday? Don’t tell me you shaved your head as well as doing laundry..”
“No no no…I just hadn’t showered in a few days because of the strain it would put on my recovery. The nurses wanted to focus on my arm instead of my cleanliness. I took a sponge bath with water from the sink…using my left hand only. Less grime means happier me!”
Her Jedi mind tricks wouldn’t work on me. I knew what “hmmmm” meant.
It meant I was in trouble with the wife.
I’m smart though.
I’ll just blame it on my stepdaughter who was “supposed” to be watching me.