I Forget To Remember….So I Go Back To Move Forward

I have blogged about a lot of stuff.

To keep myself from repeating repeating myself (see what I did there?) I have to revisit the past.


To the Batcave!!

To anyone who is new to my “humble space of words”, there may be some posts that are so far hidden in the archive chamber that they are missed or lost. I hate to leave you out of the fruit loops.

Here are a list of a few that I had the most fun sharing-

Toopid Moose– a fiction story that rattled in my head for a few days. It started with only those two words.

Q Without the A– My stepson and his unanswerable questions

You’re So Cool-Me…..and one of my not very cool moments

The King of Fashion Advice– My stepdaughter asking me for fashion tips for the first and quite possibly the last time….

The Triangle Buffoon-My first venture into instrument playing greatness

Audio Estrogen– My wife and her music

Soulhat-the origin of of the blog name

Ahh…memory lane. I revisited….I relaughed…I think I peed myself a little…


The Fundraiser, The Federal Marshall, and The Left Behind Beer

The Fundraiser

Last night, we held a fundraiser for a dear friend of ours called The “Angels for Britney”. For background information on her and her journey to recovery from 2 strokes at the age of 24, please visit these posts that I have written about her-

(Re)learning to Walk
(Re)learning to walk 2

It is hard to gauge how much a community cares for its residents…..until someone is in need. For the past 2 weeks, arrangements have been made to attempt to gain community support to help a family in need.

Web page
Tv spots
Radio coverage
Newspaper coverage
Word of mouth

By event time there were donations of food from Major disrtibutors, items to auction and raffle, a venue to hold the event in and a live band.

The Mayor of the community showed up and gave a speech.

Britney’s husband, Matt, and their 2 boys showed up to thank everyone for their support and to give an update on her condition.

By the end of the night everyone was tired and overwhelmed by the awesome outpouring of support.

Britney's Angels
Britney’s 2 Angels were exhausted!

The Federal Marshall

Featuring a live band at the fundraiser meant that alcohol would be present. With alcohol being present, a police presence was also necessary.

Live music and beer are like rodeo and boots in Texas….one does not occur without the other.

One of the organizers has a relative that is a federal Marshall. He donated his time to the effort, along with 1 member of the 3 member small town police force.

The majority of the organizers for this event are alcoholics in recovery. In order to distinguish “us” from “them”, we wore t-shirts that stated-

“Do not offer me alcohol, because I am an alcoholic….and that would be bad.”

ok….so that is a lie.

As I am standing in the back of the room with my freshly shaven head and arm tattoos a blazing, a man strikes up a conversation with me.

Him-“Is that your local police presence?”

Me-” Yeah, there is supposed to be a federal marshall here too, but he must be a ninja federal marshall or something….that bastard has not been seen anywhere.’

Him-‘”Really, that’s pretty cool… You all don’t know what he looks like?”

Me-“Nope. I suspect a Tommy Lee Jones type with a cowboy hat and a scowl…”

tommy lee jones

He sticks ou his hand for me to shake and with a chuckle and says,

“We haven’t met yet….you are?”

I shake his hand and reply,

“Good2begone, and you”

“I’m the federal marshall…nice to meet you.’ and he pulls out his badge.

The Left Behind Beer

This event was my first opportunity, in a long while, to listen to live music and observe the consumption of alcohol in its natural habitat.

I was giddy with anticipation.

The deal was-

$5 cover

$10 charge per cooler containing alcoholic beverages.

When I used to drink, a cooler meant filling up the bed of the truck with ice and beer. I was hoping for a drunkfest of country music, fights, table dancing and police backup!

I didnt get it…..

What I got was respectable drinkers who brought small to regular size coolers….. and someone left behind a 12 pack case with 9 chilled beers still in it….


I was literally running around bitching about it and showing the left behind beer to all my other non drinking friends. We all circled around it and gazed upon the dew dropplets as they were dripping off the sides of the cans like it was the Holy Grail.


I ended up giving it to the band as they were cleaning up.

I hope they will write a song about it.

(Aftershocks From) The Fault Line 3

COME ON…You aren’t seriously going to start from Part 3, are you?

The links to parts 1 & 2 are listed right below this statement….only a click away!

Part 1

Part 2

Don’t cheat yourself….read those and then come back to read the following continuation….


Dr. Williams looked at David and asked the only obvious question there was to be asked,

“What happened here.”

David’s mouth began to quiver and was about to cry but he held back to tell him what happened.

“Mr. Gains went to sleep and and and I got to come out and play…..but I started feeling my head hurt and and that’s when I heard the yelling.”

“What yelling Davey…tell me…you know I am hear to help you.” The doctor carefully stated as he knelt to be at eye level with the boy inside the man.

“The yelling…in here…” Davey said as he pointed at his head and continued.

“Mr. Gains went to check on the bad man….but he was not really locked up…..they started fighting….and then Amanda told me to as long as I stay away I would be safe….then I heard her scream…..then nothing. Just nothing….so i just started coloring…everything……. and looking for something to eat…but but I couldn’t find anything…so I started breaking stuff and screaming….I’m only 7!!!”he loudly stated and the tears started.

Dr. Williams put his arms around Davey and told him it would be alright. He needed to get him out of there. The only option was his office. He had no staff or clients until noon. His decision was made.

“I am going to take you to my office. Let me get you into the car and I will talk to the police, ok son.”

The Doctor walked up to the officer and spoke,

“I am taking my patient. He needs mental attention.”

“That’s fine but what am I supposed to put in my report?”

“How about this….the resident of the house has been taken by his Doctor for treatment for his multiple personalities. He is much safer with me than in a cell.”

“….ok. But I will be in contact with you.” The officer stated concernedly.

They reached the office without incident. Dr. Williams led David in and directed him onto the couch.

“I will get you something to eat. In the meantime try to rest.”

David did as requested but instead of sitting and waiting for food, he laid down and fell fast asleep.

As David slept, the Doctor returned to his note taking to journal the new events and the steps he planned to follow from here.

If,  in fact,  the other personalities have destroyed each other, then I have a new problem. The only personality left is that of a child….in a grown mans body. I cannot turn him over to the authorities….they will rightfully believe he is crazy. It will be best to keep him under guarded watch for the time being.

He put his pen down and went to get food from the deli, so DaveyDavid would have something to eat when he returned.

He purchased the standard turkey sandwich and chips. He didn’t know what else a 7 year old man child would eat. As he walked back into the office he was startled to see the couch….with no sleeping man child on it.

He turned around to shut the door and look for him and was greeted by the same evil eyes and smirk that smashed a hold in the door at the previous session.

Introducing Chaos

“Hey there, Doc. I’m Chaos.”He smartly said as he punched him square in the nose and rendered him unconscious.

When Dr. Williams awoke, a short time later , he was gagged and bound to the couch that his patients usually found comfort on.

He was not comfortable.

David sat in the Doctor’s chair with his legs crossed and palm on his chin.

He was quite comfortable.

“I am here to tell you that the sessions are over. I WIN…..I read your assessment of me. You gave me what I wanted. You not only wrote in your notes that I was mentally unstable, but you told the police as well. You shrinks are all alike. Multiple personalities…Ha!”

The Doctor looked at him wide eyed but of course couldn’t speak with the gag in his mouth. So he continued to listen.

“How’s this, Doc?” He crossed his armed, sat up straight and morphed into the confident Mr. Gains.

“I’m I charge here. I do things because I know how to get things done”

“Or how about this?” He uncrossed his arms and pretended to wipe hair out of his face and took on a feminine pose.

“Oh, Mr. Williams…please don’t be so formal call me Amanda…”

“I got 1 more….” He defiantly stated as he pulled his legs up to his chest and cried out with a childlike whimper.

“I only 7 and I like to color…”

He stopped. Leaned back in the chair and spoke dryly.

“There has ALWAYS only been Chaos. Well…at least since the year 2000. You remember what you did in 2000, DOC?”

The Doctor couldn’t reply. He just shook his head back and forth in a “No” manner with wide eyes and a racing heartbeat.

“You had a client of yours committed. That client was my Mother. The drugs you had her on made her crazy. You knew that….but you also knew she had a will and a lot of money. You conned her into changing the will. You got it all. I got nothing….NOTHING!…nice office and extra certificates on the wall it got you. So I have been plotting since then to get revenge. Crazy wasn’t enough…I thought….what drives shrinks like you? I answered myself with….fancy diagnosis to get in the medical review books is what drives you. Here I am,  a well documented multiple personality with violent tendencies….that will be taken out on you. At the same time your notes will eventually set me free.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a syringe.

“This is filled with a drug that will speed up your heartrate until it explodes. I am going to inject you with it and watch you die. Then I will untie you and call that cop…in my Davey voice…and let the legal system do its thing.”

He got up and cracked his neck. As he leaned in with the syringe Officer Delaney busted in through the still open door and tazed David/Mr. Gains/Amanda/Davey/Chaos.

He fell to the floor, syringe in hand in a convulsing heap.

As he untied and ungagged the Doctor he said,

“It’s not your fault, Doc. Some people are just plain crazy.”

(Re) Learning to Walk II

A few days ago I wrote a post about a friend of mine who has had a stroke- (Re) Learning To Walk
Things looked bright early on but have taken a darker turn since then.

She is still fighting.

Prays are encouraged and certainly welcome.

A fundraiser has been set up to help.

Her family has asked for help from wherever they can get it.

This space coinsides with wherever.

The link to the website is listed below.

Friends of Britney Barninger Page




Mrs. Lane just sat there for a moment behind her desk…stunned. With shaky hands she picked up Deborah’s assignment in one hand and her grading pencil in another. With a pause she set the paper on the desk and placed a grade on the top of the page.


As she was about to place it onto the graded stack with the others, she paused and then reconsidered the grade.

She marked out the initial grade,


And replaced it with one she felt more comfortable with.


“Let’s see what Deborah and the family thinks of that.” She thought to herself with a confident smirk. And placed it on top of the pile……

And smiled as the next round of students filed into class.
The story can’t end like that…..

The Family Tree Assignment” Part II

The following class was her advanced writing class.

All of the students went to their seats and chatted and giggled until the bell rang.


The students quieted down, faced forward in their desks, and awaited instructions from Mrs. Lane.

And waited….

And waited…

Mrs. Lane just sat there staring into space, unaware that the next class had begun.

One of the students in the front row cleared his throat….loudly….and spoke,

“Mrs. Lane?…….Are you ok?”

She shut her eyes and blinked a few times to snap out of it.

“Ohhh..yes I’m fine. I was just lost in thought over your next writing assignment…it’s umm…ummm..right here…here it is.” She stumbled for words and grabbed Deborah’s tree picture from the desk and held it up.

A student from the back spoke up and said, “You want us to act like a tree…and leave? Sweet! Even I can do that!”

Laughter erupted from the room. It broke the spell she was in.

“No. No. What I want is for each of you to find an image of a tree that best represents your family and write about it. Be creative and….have fun with it.”

She paused for a second then continued,

“I need to get some water. Take out your computers and begin. They will be due tomorrow.”

She left the room to get some air and a drink of water.

“Why did I give them the same assignment? I don’t want to see any more damn trees!…..Get yourself together girl. Don’t be scared of a 14 year old girl…she earned that F….by lying!” She thought to herself.

She returned to class to finish out her day.

The following day she returned. She didn’t fear facing Deborah. She feared of what might or could occur after she faced Deborah.

The writing assignment had to be given back to the students after grading. Any assignment that received a failing grade had to be returned….signed by the parent as acknowledgement that they were aware of their child’s grades and progress.

She started off the class after the bell rang by handing back the papers to the students reminding them that any failing marks had to be returned with the signature. Then returned to the front of the room to explain the next assignment.

As she turned around she noticed a hand waving in the air.

“Yes, Deborah….” She asked

“May I talk with you after class about my grade on this paper, please.” Deborah shyly said as she twirled her pigtail in between her fingers

“Umm…sure.” Mrs. Lane replied.

The bell rang and Deborah slowly got up from her desk. She grabbed her books and pencil and made her way to the teachers desk at a snails pace.

She reached the desk, placed her books down, and retrieved the “F paper” from a folder. She placed it in front of Mrs. Lane (and her wide open eyes) and spoke.

“If you know what is good for you…you will change that grade to an “A”. My family goes not accept failure. AT ALL.” Deborah stated in a stern, perturbed whisper.

“I can’t do that Deborah. You must get it signed and return it to me. Now shoo…off to your ne…”

Deborah interrupted by stabbing her sharpened pencil through the cover of her binder and spoke again.

“Fine. But this is far from over…..c ya later, Mrs. Lane.” Deborah replied as she yanked the pencil out of the binder.

Deborah held the pencil up by the eraser and blew on the broken end as if it were a revolver that had just been discharged, looked Mrs. Lane in the eyes, smiled, and left before the next class fully arrived.

The advanced writing class filed in and awaited instructions for the day. Mrs. Lane asked them to please turn in their assignments. After receiving them, she asked them to sit quietly and excused herself.

She returned with another teacher and explained that she wasn’t feeling well and would be going home for the day. She introduced them to the substitute and told them they could have a free day to use their computers and would hopefully see them tomorrow.

She then gathered the turned in papers and the rest of her things and went home.

She arrived at home and immediately went to the wine cabinet and grabbed the first bottle she saw. She opened it with the wine opener.

Twist twist twist



The sound of the cork exiting the bottle was a nice sound. She didn’t bother with a wine glass. A plastic tumbler was sitting in the counter, so she just filled that and drank. She didn’t sip or let it breathe…..she just drank.

She pulled the advanced class assignments out of her briefcase and considered grading them….but drank instead.

The next thing she remembers is waking up tied to a chair in her own basement.

Deborah, dressed in black, was sitting in front of her sucking on a blow pop.

“So Mrs. Lane….” Deborah began.

“I have been looking over your “advanced class” assignments that were on your table…..looks like all they did was have fun with it. None of these flowery family descriptions are honest.”

Mrs Lane tried to interject, “Why are you..”

“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! I’m the teacher here. Look at these!” She picked up a random picture, held it in front of Mrs. Lane’s face and read some of the description that went with it.


“Ohh..I picked a treehouse because I was adopted and I don’t know my real family….but my adoptive parents love me like their own….STUPID LIES!” Deborah said condescendingly.

“Or this one..”


“My family tree is a history of happiness. We have been blessed from the roots up with….LIES…I think I just threw up in my mouth a little….”

Her face got redder as she picked up the next.

“My Mom died when I was a baby. When I was 9, my Daddy married someone else and our 2 families are intertwined like the roots of this tree. MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE!”

She throws that one aside and grabs another.


“I’m so mad I can’t even read this one….our family is as happy a twisty palm tree on the beach?….WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!!!”

Deborah flings it aside. Then reaches inside the folder she brought from home and brings out a picture of her own and carefully places it on the table in front of Mrs. Lane.


“Look at this one.” Deborah said calmly as she placed the blow pop back into her mouth. She twisted it around for a second, then bit down to get to the gum.


She took the stick out of her mouth and placed it into her pocket. And then calmly continued.

“This is my follow up picture of my family tree. The main trunk is still my Grandma….but the branches that WERE reaching toward the sky are now the roots that are overtaking YOUR house. All you have to do to stop it is change the grade to an “A”. Do that….and all this will be forgotten.”

She stepped back and allowed Mrs. Lane to speak.

“All this for 1 failing grade? I don’t understand…no one is perfect…you know I drop the lowest grade anyway why all the fuss? You could go to jail for kidnapping me!!”

Deborah replied,

“No one will believe that sweet, innocent Deborah did this to you….kidnapped you?…in your own house?….there will be no trace of me…you got drunk and passed out. I told you my family were masters at their craft. My family are magicians of crime…have been since that damn family tree was planted. I know the ways… I just choose not to follow them. You change my grade to an “A” and like….Abra-Ca-Deborah….I will be gone. HA…that was funny. Like get it? Abra-ca-DEBORAH?”

“Ok ok I will change it. Just untie me.”

Deborah smiled and went around to untie her teacher.

After releasing her from the ropes she went back to her folder to retrieve the failed assignment.

She pulled it out and looked up with a smirk. But it was too late.


Mrs. Lane has gotten up from her chair, picked it up by the backrest and swung it at the child who held her hostage. Knocking her out cold.

She retrieved her cell phone and called 911.

“I have had a break in. Get me the police.”

What Deborah did not know was that Mrs. Lane lived in an area prone to break ins.

2 years ago her house was robbed and ransacked while she was on vacation. The perps were never caught. They entered through the basement. She has kept it bolted shut since then.

To prevent it from happening again, hidden video cameras were installed throughout the house. They start recording, automatically, once any lights in the home are turned on.

Mrs. Lane went to the closet and retrieved the tapes that recorded the evenings events.

As she heard the sirens in the distance Mrs. Lane looked at the child in black that was knocked out unconscious on the floor and said,

“Class dismissed.”

Follower Feedback/Award Laziness All wrapped Up Into 1 Post!!

Note to self- Depending on the response to some of the things about to be mentioned…..I may have to turn down my honesty amp to a more respectable level.

Reply note to self-Yeah, let me know how that works for ya.

A couple of days ago, I wrote a fiction post called “The Family Tree Assignment”. I came across a picture on the internet and created a story around it. My version of a picture is worth a 1000 words.

Basically it is about a teacher who gives an assignment to her creative writing class. One of the turned in assignments caught her attention. The student who wrote it gave her good reason to keep her attention.

Sometime after publishing it, I received a comment from a follower who has been along for the ride with this blog for quite a while. The comment that was left said,

“Don’t tell me you’re leaving me hanging! Part II upcoming right? Great read.”

I replied by saying, and I will paraphrase me,

“If you would like a part II then email a picture that you think would go with the story and I will do it.”

Come on now…..you really don’t think a picture was sent do you? No one actually replies to blatant challenges on continuing a story…….

Sometimes when I write a fiction piece, I will have a part 2, or 3, or 4 or so on. But lately, I have gotten into the habit of ending where it ends and I leave the reader or follower or what have you, to assume their own ending.

(That is my first reference to my abundance of laziness)

Before I went to bed, I received another reply from the follower that said, “OK” followed by the link to let me know I have nominated for the “Beautiful Blogger” Award.

(second reference to laziness starts now)

I am not good at….scratch that…I suck at follow through when it comes to Blogger nomination thingies. It is a joy to recieve them. To be recognized by other who enjoy writing like I do, is truly awesome. It makes the tedious work it takes to spill my cranial fillings worthwhile….

But not enough to give me strength to answer the questions and nominate 5-15 others to do the same. I enjoy all the blogs I read, but to single some out is hard for me.

(I’M LAZY!!)

I puked out all of that to get to this……

The fellow blogger who said, “OK” did e-mail me. Not with 1 photo but with 5.

Never challenge another blogger unless you are willing to back it up.

As far as the nomination goes, I ask all who read this to check out


This blog nominated me and answered the challenge I was convinced that would not be answered. It deserves more than my award laziness. It deserves extra views and likes and follows from the entire wordpress blogosphere.

As for the challenge….the 5 pics will be represented in the follow up post to “The Family Tree Assignment”. I haven’t worked out the full details yet, but I do have a title…..


Thanks, “Jazzytower

Oh, Elvis, Where For Art Thou?

Elvis Presley.

The King of Rock ‘n Roll.

The hip swinging, gospel singing, movie making, chart topping, fried peanut butter and banana sandwich eating, make women of all ages scream and pass out icon.


Today is his birthday.

What better way to remember “the King” than to pay tribute with a few of my favorites.

I even wrote a post when I started blogging with a reference to him. Please take a stroll down memory lane with me by clicking the link below.

Things I have lost

In case you have been under a rather large rock for numerous….and I mean numerous decades, and do not know who Elvis is. Here is a photo tribute by one of my personal favorite musicians.

Charlie Sexton-“Graceland”

But honestly, what tribute would be complete without  a musical tribute to the man himself.

I give you Dwight Yoakum-“Suspicious Minds”

Often imitated….never duplicated.

The King lives on!

Happy Birthday, Elvis.


12 Seconds of Terror, The Merry Go Round Scare, and the Embarrasing Conclusion

Returning to work after a 2 week holiday, should be a nice change of pace.

Off of the couch and into the real world.

We started a job in “the sticks” today. The remodeling of a old home that will become a retreat for hunters and such.

As I went about my work, which today was destruction, which sometimes has to occur before the reconstruction. when I heard a yell from my Boss.


I thought to myself, as I walked to see what he was clamoring about. ” He must be high…Buffalo? A deer maybe but a buff….What the Fu..?”

They weren’t sure what to do…..

I did. I turned on my trusty iCamera.

I give you the “12 Seconds of Terror”

He did not follow us into the building. Our obvious sheer manliness and ability to stand our ground must have startled him.

We next tried to get him out of the gate he came in from. I must of had the faint aroma of last night’s pork chops or this mornings bacon on me, because his oinker was coming for me.

I now give you “The Merry Go Round Scare”

Obviously, I did not fear the large portly creature. I was actually chasing him……he was quick…. so it LOOKED LIKE he was chasing me.

It is now time for this….

“The Embarrassing Conclusion”

At the end of the last clip, you might notice a blue pick up truck on the left side of the video.

As I fearlessly chased the beast toward the gate, I had to turn off the video to make sure my shorts were not soiled and to try to stop whimpering.

After the camera stopped rolling….the hogg headed for the front gate. The truck pulled up and stopped. The back door opened and a 9 to 10 year old girl climbs out of the cab. She gets in front of the large four legged creature, crosses her arms, and stands in its way. The hogg trots up to her and just passes right by her. As it did she uncrossed her arms and slapped it on the backside……and followed it back to their property.

5 grown men fearing for their lives while being stalked by a 500 lb. beast.

1 child laughing at us for being scared of her “pet”

This is why city boys have a hard time adjusting to the country life.

Stupid buffalo…

The Numbers of 2K12

I am not a stat stalker…..although I was when I first started blogging, but WordPress keeps me up to date anyway. I received my annual report. It highlights the start of this blog until today, the last day of the year. I appreciate all who have stopped by and read what I have written. I also appreciate all who have written so that I may, in turn, read.

Blogging brings words to life. It allows readers into my head and me into theirs.

The courage to share stories, whether they be true or made up, opinion or fact, humorous or heart breaking, is not easy to come by.

As long as 1 reader, follower, liker, viewer, commentor or visitor finds a connection, then there is a pretty good chance the posts will continue……

And not just on my small space in the blogosphere but hopefully on yours as well.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 6,200 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 10 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.