The Celibate Toast

I need to invest in an online lip reading class because It has become quite obvious that I suck at being hearing impaired.

Case and point is as follows….


Whilst I was preparing the evenings gourmet meal I became embroiled in a quandary.

My wife has a list of various ingredients she does not partake in.

During the process of cheffing it up I often need her assistance in what to use.

This particular time, she happened to be on the phone with one of her friends yapping it up about make up, fashion, shoes or possibly NASCAR when I witnessed her looking into the fridge for something to add to my 5 star meal.

To speed the process up, I asked what she was looking for.

I swear on the bumper of Dale Earnhardt’s Jr. Daytona 500 car that she mouthed the words-

“Celibate toast.”

I paused…made my huh face

and said,

“What the hell is celibate toast?”


She makes her version of the huh face while she is on the phone

(multitasking is much more her thing than mine)

and pulled out a jar of what she was looking for.

I still don’t know what celibate toast is but I bet it comes with it’s own jam>