The Leftist Principle

Looking suspicious in the eyes of the men in blue does not necessarily mean that their suspicions are correct.

Every once in a while, there is a very legitimate reason for suspicious behavior that would arouse suspicions in the eyes of someone who is trained to detect ones who act suspiciously.

Today, I was driving to the grocery store to pick up a batch of kale….


People do use kale you know. It’s not just for garnish. My wife tells me it’s a superfood…..which is why each piece looks like a cape flowing in the wind.


As I was pulling closer to the stoplight, I noticed an unmarked sheriffs vehicle pull behind me from a side street.

(I have a keen eye for the unmarked variety)

I needed to make a right turn at the light, but my right blinker is out.

In an effort to avoid a ticket, I quickly devised a plan and began to carry it out.

As I made turn #3. complete with full stop and left blinker turned on, the flashing lights came on.

I pulled over and got my required information ready.

The officer came up to the drivers window and asked,

“Mind if I ask you what you are doing in this neighborhood?”

My reply-

“Not at all, officer. I’m just passing through.”

His reply-

“There have been a lot of break ins in this area and you were driving suspiciously.”

My reply-

“Was it my driving that was suspicious or my spray painted vehicle that is suspicious?”

His reply-

“Both. You have a better reason than just passing through?”

My reply-

“I do….but my reasoning was helping me to avoid a ticket….if I tell you…..I might get a ticket.”

His reply-

“Try me….and please hand me your license and insurance.”

My reply-

“Ok….my right turn signal is on the blink. So I figured as long I can make 4 left turns I will end up going right. Thereby nullifying using my right non working turn signal.”

He stops looking at my info, takes off his department issues sunglasses and says,


“My truck refuses to ambiturn when one of the blinkers is out.” I replied with an awkward smile.

He hands back my information with a what the hell is this world coming to look and says,

“Get your blinker fixed. If I catch you making multiple left turns again I will impound your spray painted vehicle.”

Who would of thunk it….that one day my knowledge of “Zoolander” would come in handy.


I know….right?