The Fork Off

I blame the show “Seinfeld”.

Plain and bones about it.

It’s that damn TV show that has and will be in syndicated re runs for eternity that caused this mess…or lack there of it.

I could just be making something out of nothing….


I should probably get PETA involved.

They have to be stopped…


Whoever decided to breed and raise boneless chickens.

They must have some stealth operation going on. I have Googled, Bing, Yahooed, and even used some search engines that run off guinea pigs running on a wheel for one thing-

“Boneless chicken pics”

Not cooked, fried, breaded, grilled, or baked boneless chickens

Actual rolling around boneless chickens.

(They can’t walk without bones so they must be rollers.)

I found one pic.

20130823-211950.jpgNot what I was looking for.

Chicken wings are fun to eat. They are messy AND delicious.

That is a winning combo.

But that damn George Costanza and his eating a snickers with a fork has ruined it all.

No melting chocolate and nougat on the hands means less napkins wasted and better etiquette..I guess.

There is nothing more American than going to a restaurant and seeing patrons with buffalo wing sauce covering their faces and hands…

And mounds of used napkins on the floor.

The need for etiquette is taking all of that away.

I’m not a pinkie raiser..

I choose to raise a different finger.

Once the bones are taken out of the wings they can no longer be called wings.

Chickens without bones need a new go to phrase to separate itself from everything else.

How about-

Boneless chicken…the other…other white meat.

Seinfeld…stick to big salads and bring masters of your domain, but leave our etiquette deficiencies alone.

It’s one more thing that makes America great.



The Happening

There’s something happening here
What it is ain’t exactly clear
There’s a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware

Times are changing. Uncertainty hangs like a thick fog in the air.

I think it’s time we stop, children, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down

Our freedoms that we have so long taken for granted, are now just plain being taken.

There’s battle lines being drawn
Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind

“By the people, for the people” has been shifted to we know what’s good for you.

I think it’s time we stop, hey, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down

The bells of “Let Freedom Ring” have become rusted.

What a field-day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly say, hooray for our side

Our rights that should be our voice have fallen silent.

It’s time we stop, hey, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down

Change is coming. You can hear it in the wind.

Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you’re always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away

The voices of the many need to shake the foundations of the few.

We better stop, hey, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down
Stop, hey, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down
Stop, now, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down
Stop, children, what’s that sound
Everybody look what’s going down

A new world is upon us. The happening is here.

Lyrics by- Buffalo Springfield

Bold print by Me

Encouraged to apply?

Fm radio does not have the listeners it used to. In the age of satellite, XM and Sirius, Pandora, iPods, and Internet music choices, they have become the minority of the business. I have always been a radio guy. I like local Radio DJ’s and local coverage and the like.
Where I live the variety of stations is limited.

Talk radio

Bubblegum pop



Classic rock

That’s about it.

As I headed to work the other day I was listening to the classic rock station and a commercial came on. When a commercial is on one station they are on all stations so I left it. It was an ad asking for applicants to apply for jobs in marketing and sales for radio and web advertising. It gave standard requirements like


Goal oriented

Sales driven

Blah blah blah

As I was about to change the station. One sentence was uttered that blew my mind.

Minorities and women are “encouraged to apply”.



I may live in Nowheresville, USA, but last time I was allowed out of my bubble I was under the impression that we as a country were past all of that.

I very much dislike the term minority when talking about people. I am not a fan of separating women from men in terms of abilities. In the context of that ad this is what I heard.

We will only hire white males for these positions. Legally we have to have the jobs open to all. So…..please ladies come down and apply. Be sure to leave your apron at home and put on your prettiest bonnet “business dress” and heels and go through the motions. Additionally any “person of color” may come down but please do not bring your doo rags, sombreros, chopsticks, turbans, or any other stereotypical type clothing or attitudes with you. We are a reputable business and we will not stand for it. We state this because we have to but we won’t hire you, but please you are “encouraged to apply”.

Here comes the sarcasm.

A couple of weeks ago I voted. Imagine my surprise when while I was there that women AND minorities were there voting all around me.

Last time I was in a large city I used the transit system and visited various restaurants, I was shocked to be surrounded by both genders and people of all colors and points if origin.

I can’t be for certain, but….there might be women and minorities who actually own their own businesses AND are successful at them…..IN AMERICA!!!
Wow, who knew?

Sarcasm over.

Any other job ad I have heard on the radio uses a simple statement. Equal Opportunity Employer. I’m ok with that. On the context of that, I hear this-

If you meet the qualifications of the job posting. Apply.


Free (dumb)

Today is the day that Primary elections are held in my state of Texas. I have to say that I am fairly appalled at the turnout of voters.
So, my rant begins in 3…2…1…now.

I live in the greatest country in the world. The forefathers of America made great strides in making sure our freedoms and liberties were fair and protected. Mistakes were made and over time they are being adjusted to include all of use. The most underused freedom this country has is the right to vote.
We the people, seem to enjoy the right NOT to vote.
To those who have voted, kudos to you. This rant is not meant to offend you. To those that didn’t vote…. It’s not meant to offend you either. Most likely after the first paragraph where voting was mentioned you have likely left the building.
I am a person who voted today…. For the first time….in roughly 12 years. I didn’t for the same (free) dumb reasons most don’t. Allow me to list a few.

1- my one vote won’t change anything.
2- I’m not into politics
3- I don’t vote so I won’t bitch
4- it’s my right not to vote
5- I’m too young to make a difference

Blah, blah, blah.

I did vote today. Why now? I had freedoms taken away from me for 5 years. More to the point I gave them away by committing crimes. I paid my debt. I now have basic freedoms that everyone else should enjoy. Believe me when I say, ” It makes a big difference in your life when you can’t use the freedoms that make this country great.”
I said SHOULD enjoy. Fact is most don’t. I live in a town of roughly 22,000 people. I’ve checked up on polling results, so far, in most of the races going on the total number of votes has been less than 4,000. Sad. Sad. Sad.
Im done ranting. I need a tums. Let Free (dumb) ring.