my parents adopted him just so they could harvest his heart for me.


Whenever I remember Dede, I would sit alone in my room, stifling my sobs with my pillow. I would think of him until my heart ached, knowing that he is gone. Dede came to live with us seven years ago. He was a little boy around my age—eight years old—who had eyes so wide they […]

my parents adopted him just so they could harvest his heart for me.

Loved this bit of fiction so much that I had to share it. Hope it is enjoyed by someone else as much as I.

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The Adoption Roadblock


I have reached the point of the adoption process where I have to talk about something that concerns me.

As wonderful and exciting as the prospect of adopting a child into our family is….

There is certain roadblock that is preventing me from being on the same level of wonderful and excited as the young pregnant woman, her mother and my younger than me wife is (I don’t know why I keep calling her that. I just do)

This roadblock could possibly end our dreams of having this child as our own.

And, I’m the only one concerned. At least so it seems.

If you’ve gotten this far, I’m sure you may think my is that the young lady will back out and want to keep the baby.

That’s a fair assumption….but not my concern.

Here is the rundown to the roadblock-

If she chose to have an abortion, she could have….without parental concent or any other consent. It is her choice.

But….

In choosing to have the child and give it up for adoption…it is not her choice.

She needs her parental consent…

AND

The baby daddy’s consent along with his parents consent.

She is underage at 16. Baby daddy is underage at 15.

Which brings us to the roadblock…..

Young pregnant girl and her mother haven’t and don’t want to tell baby daddy that he is going to be a baby daddy.

I wait a minute and let that sink in…..

……….

……….

My younger than me wife is going along with it.

………..

………

I’m sure they have a reason. I’m not privy to what it is….but I’m sure there is one. It seems like a bitter man hating thing, but what do I know…

So, we asked our lawyer.

He had a few questions..

-do you know who the father is

-was she raped or assaulted

-is he of legal age while she is not

First question answer was yes. The 2nd to answers were no.

He’s using his lawyer ways to look into it but to this point he can’t find anything.

Here is what he told us-

It’s admirable that you 2 want to adopt this child, but, if I don’t find any new information about not telling the father then here’s the deal….

Mr. And Mrs. Good2begone…you are outsiders in this process. Until the situation with the father and his family is resolved you all have no stake in the game.

So, there it is.

Even with this information. The ladies are carrying on like the adoption is a done deal.

My wife says the I’m just pessimistic and need to be more positive.

I say I’m realistic and can’t set myself up for a fall that I KNOW is coming.

But, what do I know….

I’m just a man.

The Adoption Files


My wife and I are in the process of becoming adoptive parents.

It’s quite the process.

From our lawyer, who is also a friend of ours, to my boss and various other individuals we hear the same thing-

“Yall know you’re crazy…..right?”

We just reply with a smile-

“Yeah…we know.”

Here’s a little backstory which brought us into this…..process.

I’m 52 about to be 53. My wife is…..younger than me.

I’m older and wise enough not to reveal a woman’s age….

She has 2 children that together we have raised into adulthood. They have started their own families.

Our son has 3 boys…all under the age of 5, by 2 different baby mammas. He is now single.

Our daughter has had 2 girls. Her first died during childbirth. Terrible tragedy that could have been avoided if the doctors had a lick of sense among them.

Her second is 10 months old. She is about to be divorced.

My wife n I spend a lot of time with our grandkids.

All of our grandchildren are angels….even when they are not.

If you are a grandparent…then you get it.

I never had kids of my own.

I call it “the curse”.

When I was in my early 20’s, a young lady I was dating got pregnant by me.

We decided on abortion.

And it has haunted me ever since.

Even after that, rarely if at all did I use protection.

Therefore, the curse kept me from being a father.

Stupid..I know..but that’s what I believe.

Adoption has always been on my mind.

I come from a family where 3 of my 4 siblings were adopted.

Early ’80’s fashion….glad that’s over. Same with those bowl haircuts.

Anyways…that’s my family from growing up. Once they were adopted they were just my brothers and sister.

So adoption isn’t new to me.

But this process sure is.

Here’s the current state of our process-

My wife and I have a friend whose daughter is 16 and pregnant.

She has college and future ambitions that would not be possible if she were to be raising a child.

The young lady had full intent of having an abortion.

Even went as far as going to the clinic to get it done. But, she couldn’t afford it.

The young lady’s mom had a talk with my wife about it.

My wife, in turn had a talk with her and her daughter, telling them if she would be willing to have the baby, then we would adopt the baby.

She agreed.

That’s where the journey begins.

This blog will now be my sounding board for this process.

The good, bad, joys, frustrations and all the emotions that go along with it.

All leading up the the hopeful endgame of becoming an adoptive parents.

At 52 years old….and my wife being younger than me.

The adoption process through the eyes, words and mind of good2begone.

Mind Your Own Business


There is a quarterback in this years Super Bowl whose name I can’t pronounce much less spell…so I will call him K-nick for short. He plays for the San Francisco 49ers. Apparently, he was adopted when he was an infant.

Nothing shocking there.

What is shocking (to me) is that a certain sportswriter by the name of Rick Reilly has taken it upon himself to voice his concerns over the fact that K-nick wants nothing to do with his birth mother.

It seems that Mr. Reilly adopted a child years ago. That child wanted to know her biological history and connect with her natural parents. He made efforts to do so and it worked out very well for his family and his adopted child’s biological family.

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Kudos for that.

But…

That does not make him a minister of goodwill for ALL adopted children.

K-nick has publicly stated that he wants nothing to do with his biological mother….the couple that adopted him and RAISED him to become the man he is today are his Mother and Father.

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This is a college photo of K-nick and his parents.

They are the only parents he needs.

Kudos to him for that.

You may wonder…..why do I even care?

I personally was not adopted.

BUT…

I have 3 siblings that were adopted into our family. When we are seen together, we look no more alike than random strangers from other countries, but we are family none the less.

2 of my siblings are much like K-nick. They don’t care to know anything about their biological parents. They were given up…that is all they need to know. My parents are their parents…period. I support them in their decision.

My sister, on the other hand, is actively searching for her birth mother…..and I support her in her quest.

Personal choice and independence. Our parents instilled that in all of us.

People love a good dramatic story. It sells papers. It makes headlines.

If K-nick wasn’t a quarterback on a team playing in the Super Bowl this weekend….then there wouldn’t be a story.

Just let the man enjoy the biggest game of his life. Let his parents enjoy watching the son they raised play in that game.

Mr. Reilly….just report on whether his team wins or loses….

Other than that…

Mind your own business.