Baggage Accents

by good2begone


I hear somewhere that Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest….

That somewhere is not here.

Sunday is the day where I do all the crap I can’t do when I’m working.

So there’s no rest for the…..

HEY!! WHERE DO YOUR SHOES GO WHEN YOU AREN’T WEARING THEM?…..

That’s right,  not here….get to steppin’ you gonna have to get a job eventually teenager that thinks there’s a promising future in laying around the house all weekend!

Sorry….where was I?

Oh, yeah…crap I can’t do during the week….

Sunday is my doing the laundry day. I have been doing this grand task every week since before we got married.

Why, you must be asking is the man doing all the laundry?…..

Because it bring me FREAKING PEACE.

And…

That’s how our family tumbles and dries ’round here.

I usually have around 5 loads to do. That is, as long as I remember to look under the bed, sofas, behind doors, on the ceiling fans, etc.

If you do laundry regularly, then you know the drill.

Sunday is also weekly grocery shopping day.

My wife and I experience this together.

Mainly because, if she goes by herself…I end up placing a missing persons report, due to the fact that there are TOO MANY LABLES TO READ throughout the store. She has multiple food allergies and wants everything….she just can’t have everything.

If I go by myself…..

I will get back so fast that I end up going back MULTIPLE times in order to get what we need.

It just works out better of we do it together.

So….

We get to our local chain grocery store and begin the slow one wheel is always clunky ride down the aisles with the cart.

About 45 minutes later we are at the checkout…..ready to deplete our bank account significantly.

Cashier – Paper or plastic?

Me– Plastic….I’m allergic to paper.

My wife – No your not. Plastic, please.

Grocery Bagger Guy– How would you like this sacked.

Cashier– He always asks that.

My wife– I want it sacked perfectly. Meats with meat. Cleaning stuff with cleaning stuff and so on.

Grocery Bagger Guy– Yes maam.

Me– I want it bagged alphabetically….and repeated back to me as it is done….with a European accent.

Grocery Bagger Guy– Ummm what…..sir

Me– You asked me how we wanted it bagged. I want it bagged alphabetically and repeated back with a European accent.

Grocery Bagger Guy– …….I’ve never been to Europe……

Sunday…..if ya can’t rest….at least make it worth it.

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