Double Vision

I am the speaker of truth in our household.

Oh no….its true…its true.

If you want a flowery, politically correct, I care about your feelings answer then the person to go to is….not me.

I ain’t got time for feelings.

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

I get asked questions all the time.

My answers are direct and to the point.

Not too long ago, my teenage stepdaughter had a question that needed a decisive answer.

Naturally, she came to me…….

“Why can’t boys look me in the eyes when they talk to me?” She inquired.

I looked up from the book I was reading, which was entitled-

“Magic Tricks For Dummies”

I was completely entranced with the how to make a quarter dissappear and make it reappear behind someone’s ear trick when she approached me.

I wasn’t quite sure what she said.

I placed the book aside and said,

” Ummm….wha?”

A bit frustrated that I didn’t hear her the first time, she hastily repeated the question, although in different form.

And

She accented her verbage by pointing to space at the center of her chest.

“CLEAVLAGE! Why do boys stare at my cleavlage instead of my eyes when they talk?”

My honesty sometimes gets the best of me…..

“Well honey….boys…wait a sec….did you say cleavlage?”

“Yes, of course I did. They always stare right here.” She said as she reaffirmed her previous pointing motion.

“Well honey, that’s not cleavlage. Cleavlage is a city in Ohio.”

Like I said…..

Direct and to the point.

The answers come to me……like magic.

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