The Problem With Anything

by good2begone


Never in the history of good2begonekind (yes…that is officially a word) have 3 words been misinterpreted so badly.

And

Because of the misinterpretation, I have been slated to receive a formal and in person scolding from my better half.

The verbal scolding has already occurred by way of a phone call from her while she was at work.

Typically, she doesn’t call me from work…..because she is working.

But….

hold on…I am getting ahead of myself.

Lemme back it up a bit…

If you didn’t know…which is hard to believe since I have been whining about it for over 3 weeks….

I had surgery to basically reattach my arm about 4 weeks ago.

I have been at home in full blown recovery mode for these past 3 weeks.

My basic instructions, from my better half, are summed up in 3 words-

DONT DO ANYTHING

Which, to me, is a pretty broad set of instructions…..no pun intended.

Anyway…

By “don’t do anything” I took it as meaning-

Don’t do anything that would further complicate the recovery from surgery, such as-

•lumberjack school
•mountain climbing
•gymnastics
•trapeze artistry….stuff

I have been cooped up in the house for way too long. I decided to un coop myself.

I grabbed my keys and got into my truck to take a little drive.

I’m like a Jedi driver…just use one hand and the force.

I rolled down the windows and hit the road.

I was able to travel almost a full mile before my plan went awry.

As I pulled up to a stop sign and properly checked both directions before continuing, I noticed a familiar vehicle coming in from the left.

It was our friend and fellow sometimes blogger, trudgingdestiny.

CRAP.

She rolls down her window and asks,

“What are you doing?”

I reply,

“I’m not doing anything.”

Her reply,

“Hmmmm…”

And she drove off.

As I turn the corner, I think to myself,

“She won’t say anything….by the time she can get ahold of my wife…she will forget she even saw me.”

Before I was able to return to my home base and complete my version of not doing anything….my phone rang.

By the “Darth Vader theme” ringtone I knew it was my wife….and that the jig was up.

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“Hey Baby! Have I told you how much I love you today.” I begin after placing the phone to my ear.

“Don’t hey baby me…what are you doing?”

“I’m….not doing anything?”

“Really..well I just want to know why an employee of mine just walked into my office and was AMAZED at how quickly after having surgery that you are able to drive…”

I guess I wasn’t listening. Here is what I replied….

“I didn’t know that trudgingdestiny worked with you…”

Her quick as a light saber response,

“WHAT?? She saw you too?”

The force is strong in that one, it is.

“Please be home from joyriding by the time I get home.”

CLICK

and much like the final shot to the Death Star….she was gone.

So….I have to have a plan…in place…by the time she gets home.

Or maybe,

Instead of trying to convince her on the complicated differences between the male version of not doing anything and the female version of not do anything

I should just accept that…once again…I have been caught doing something I shouldn’t have and just

Not…say…anything.

(Photo from deviant art.)

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