The Rules Of Engagement

by good2begone


He walked out of the bathroom of their small 1 bedroom apartment and out into the main room, where his girlfriend of over 6 years sat and filed her nails.

He knew it was time to finally ask her. He couldn’t take the what if’s that ran through his mind anymore.

He had to be straightforward and direct. Confidence was the key.

She looked up at him as he walked into the room and smiled.

He returned the smile and approached her as his hands began to sweat.

“Honey…I need to ask you something…” He began as he faced her.

“Ok.” She kindly replied.

He glanced at the floor, knelt down on one knee and placed what was in his hand on the floor next to him.

He looked up at her lovingly, paused, smiled and began,

“Eve…would you…”

Her heart began to race before he could finish. She jumped up and exclaimed,

“YES YES OF COURSE I WILL MARRY YOU!…I need to call my Mother…she doesn’t think you are good enough for me….never has…..but it doesn’t matter now…we are getting married!! I need a dress….we need to start making plans…O….M…..G…bridesmaids…how many? What color for their dresses…we need to learn a cool dance like those ones on the youtube! Wait…wait.,,.before I do anything.. I need the ring….where’s the ring?….PUT IT ON MY FINGER!!”

She said as she stuck her left hand out while continuing her happy dance.

He looked at her bewildered, stood up from his kneeling position and replied,

“I…I…I don’t have a ring…”

“No ring? What do you mean no ring? Don’t you know the rules of engagement? I NEED A RING!” She answered.

“I wasn’t asking you to marry me….” He began as he knelt down and picked up what he had placed next to himself and cautiously continued,

“I was gonna ask….would you please remember to put the cap back on the toothpaste after you use it….it gets all crusty and then SHOOTS out without warning.”

As he spoke he handed her the tube with the crusty top.

She looked at it and replied,

“Toothpaste crust? Then why did you get down on one knee?”

He looked down and pointed as he replied,

“My shoelace is untied.”

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