The Leftist Principle

by good2begone


Looking suspicious in the eyes of the men in blue does not necessarily mean that their suspicions are correct.

Every once in a while, there is a very legitimate reason for suspicious behavior that would arouse suspicions in the eyes of someone who is trained to detect ones who act suspiciously.

Today, I was driving to the grocery store to pick up a batch of kale….

What?

People do use kale you know. It’s not just for garnish. My wife tells me it’s a superfood…..which is why each piece looks like a cape flowing in the wind.

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Anyway,

As I was pulling closer to the stoplight, I noticed an unmarked sheriffs vehicle pull behind me from a side street.

(I have a keen eye for the unmarked variety)

I needed to make a right turn at the light, but my right blinker is out.

In an effort to avoid a ticket, I quickly devised a plan and began to carry it out.

As I made turn #3. complete with full stop and left blinker turned on, the flashing lights came on.

I pulled over and got my required information ready.

The officer came up to the drivers window and asked,

“Mind if I ask you what you are doing in this neighborhood?”

My reply-

“Not at all, officer. I’m just passing through.”

His reply-

“There have been a lot of break ins in this area and you were driving suspiciously.”

My reply-

“Was it my driving that was suspicious or my spray painted vehicle that is suspicious?”

His reply-

“Both. You have a better reason than just passing through?”

My reply-

“I do….but my reasoning was helping me to avoid a ticket….if I tell you…..I might get a ticket.”

His reply-

“Try me….and please hand me your license and insurance.”

My reply-

“Ok….my right turn signal is on the blink. So I figured as long I can make 4 left turns I will end up going right. Thereby nullifying using my right non working turn signal.”

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He stops looking at my info, takes off his department issues sunglasses and says,

“What?”

“My truck refuses to ambiturn when one of the blinkers is out.” I replied with an awkward smile.

He hands back my information with a what the hell is this world coming to look and says,

“Get your blinker fixed. If I catch you making multiple left turns again I will impound your spray painted vehicle.”

Who would of thunk it….that one day my knowledge of “Zoolander” would come in handy.

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I know….right?

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