Itchy Bon

by good2begone

Conversing with the people of the Walmart is always a touch and go situation, even if you happen to be previously acquainted with them before running into them at said Walmart, it’s touch and go.


You won’t be after this edition of

“The Walmart Chronicles”

First, let me say, that at this point I am not itching to tell this story but I may be by stories end….

We HAD to go to “the Walmart” today. Even with our money situation being as tight as a Dick’s hatband…

(Ha ha I can’t believe I just wrote that. I don’t know what it means but it must be tight.)

We had to go.


My wife was in dire need of a juicer…..on a Sunday.

The deal was we had stuff that was begging to be juiced but did not have a juicer. No juicing can be done without a juicer.

So a juicing we went.

Of course, after finding the juicer of her desire, we had to get more fruits and veggies to de juice.

And that’s when we ran into her.

Not really her but a quite accurate representation of people at the Walmart

A friend from the not so distant past that we had no way of sliding past without being seen.

She came over and gave us a hug to re acquaint herself with us and then stated….post “too long for my comfort level hugging spree”-

“Ohh…don’t hug me too long I am currently battling a bit of poison ivy.”

And proceeded to hike up her knickers and show us her Ivy League degree.

My gentle reply,

“What the f$&k is wrong with you?”

My wife and I begin to back away as she goes into how she is dealing with the contagious poisonous itchtastic rashy growths.

We gave her the quickest itchy bon voyage we could possibly give anyone without knocking over the nearest duck dynasty fashion display.

Lesson for the day-

Never touch. Just go.

Great…now I’m itchy.