The Banana Heist


The coward thoroughly pours freezing cold water on some dilettante near the dilettante, or an unsightly bride derives perverse satisfaction from the ruffian around a piroshki.

That……makes absolutely no sense…

But….

It makes more sense than this news story about a crime in Connecticut by Oliver Darcy courtesy of The Blaze-

POLICE: MAN CRASHED CAR INTO GAS STATION, STOLE ONE BANANA, FLED SCENE

Authorities in Newington, Conn. say a man repeatedly crashed his car into a gas station early Wednesday morning as a means to break into the convenience store — only to walk in, steal a banana and then flee the scene…….
Police say this man crashed his vehicle into a gas station, stole a banana, then fled the scene.

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Let me write that again.

1-He crashed his car….repeatedly, mind you…..into a gas station.

2-He stole a banana

3-He fled the scene

Basically the same sentence was written 3 times.

And still it makes no sense.

I only have one question.

Who knew convenience store fruit was so tasty that it is worth stealing for?

Crash car. Steal banana. Flee scene.

Too much time playing Mario Cart is the only sense I can make out of this nonsense.

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7 thoughts on “The Banana Heist

  1. Wow! I’ve never even wanted a bourbon that badly. Perhaps I can talk to him, “Dear Sir, from one addict to the next, you need to put down the banana and seek help.”

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