Shuffling The Gambler

by good2begone

Everybody has a guy they work with that just gets in the way. This collection of words is about “that guy” who happens to work with me.

His name is Joe…..but we rarely call him that. A few of the alternate monikers he has earned are-

-Mo Joe
-Oh No it’s Joe
-Joe Zilla
-The Man with 2 Titanium Feet (long story behind that one)
-Joe of the Jungle

You get the picture.

Today, as I was working, he kept walking back and forth in front of me at the wounded snail pace that he is known for.

I had finally had enough and had to say something.

“Damn it, Ludwig Van Joe Toven!!! Do you have to be going right in front of me?”

“Well…” He replies, “I am trying to get my things out of the way since you all say I’m always in the way…”

“You do realize that by you doing that…..that you are STILL in the way…”I retort.

“ guy, do have anything that I can do so I won’t be in the way?”

I think for about a half millisecond and give him my best ‘if you think I’m bluffing, try me’ look and then answer.

“Yup. I want you to pretend like you are playing the ukulele and sing Poker Face by Lady GaGa while shuffling your feet back and forth.”

He looks at me with a “huh” look.

I can see the wheels turning….but the hamster was on break.

He finally answers.

“I’m not gonna do that.”

I reply.

“Why not? You asked me for something to do…and I gave you something to do….NOW DANCE MR. JOE JANGLES!!”

He made some sort of belligerent cursing mumbo jumbo while rapidly shaking his fists at me and then left to ask if someone else had something for him to do.

I was then able to complete my task without interruption……except for the fact that I cursed myself with having a vision in my head of Joe singing that song while shuffling his feet and playing the ukelele for the rest of the day.

If I would have only listened to the advice that Kenny Rogers has been trying to get me to heed for years-

You got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run

Then maybe….just maybe I wouldn’t be on the losing end of the smart aleck stick so much.