Becoming That Guy

It’s the end of an era.

A husband and wife task that I personally crafted into an art form.

Every married couple does it…..if it has to be done, I prefer it to be done as fast as possible. If I could do it while holding a stopwatch I would….but checking my time every few seconds would just slow me down.

If it were an Olympic sport I would get the gold….every time.


Now I have been reduced to….

That guy.

No gold…

No bronze…

But I will be pushing silver…at a snails pace…..with one bum wheel.

Grocery shopping.


I used to look forward to it. We would have a list, we would go to “the Walmart”, and the race would be on.

With any luck, my wife would run into someone she knew and they could blah blah blah with each other while I sped off to complete my task.

When I returned, white knuckles on the bar, a full cart, completed list and beads of sweat on my brow, I could inform her we had to go before the frozen broccoli started thawing.

We would then head to check out. My head held high as I watched the other sucker males slowly going down each aisle as their wife’s go through the briefcase of coupons that takes up the toddlers seat on the cart.



Yeah…that was then….

This is now.

Freddie Mercury just spun in his grave to sing another tune…

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him
You can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him
When he’s dow

You can give him coupons
And send him out
39 cents here
45 there
Look he’s
Starting to pout.

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust

And another one gone
And another one gone
Another one bites the dust…..

Yes…it’s the end of an era

I lose my sense of identity
To save a few cents.

Mama Mia
Mama Mia
Mama Mia

Let me go.


Lyrics by one of the greatest bands….EVER



16 thoughts on “Becoming That Guy

  1. Oh dude…don’t say it’s so. Ugh. Well, ya gotta do what you gotta do. I mean, I hope this doesn’t get awkward you know? I mean, we might get to the checkout at the same time, and well, I wouldn’t want to impose or anything, and you know, I don’t have coupons and could just fly through there and onto my next task…just sayin’.

    We’ll always have aisle 5 to catch up and have a quick chat now and then…


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