Becoming That Guy

by good2begone


It’s the end of an era.

A husband and wife task that I personally crafted into an art form.

Every married couple does it…..if it has to be done, I prefer it to be done as fast as possible. If I could do it while holding a stopwatch I would….but checking my time every few seconds would just slow me down.

If it were an Olympic sport I would get the gold….every time.

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Now I have been reduced to….

That guy.

No gold…

No bronze…

But I will be pushing silver…at a snails pace…..with one bum wheel.

Grocery shopping.

Uggh.

I used to look forward to it. We would have a list, we would go to “the Walmart”, and the race would be on.

With any luck, my wife would run into someone she knew and they could blah blah blah with each other while I sped off to complete my task.

When I returned, white knuckles on the bar, a full cart, completed list and beads of sweat on my brow, I could inform her we had to go before the frozen broccoli started thawing.

We would then head to check out. My head held high as I watched the other sucker males slowly going down each aisle as their wife’s go through the briefcase of coupons that takes up the toddlers seat on the cart.

“NO TIME FOR LOSERS….I AM THE GROCERY SHOPPING CHAMPION….

OF THE WORLD!!”

Yeah…that was then….

This is now.

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Freddie Mercury just spun in his grave to sing another tune…

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him
You can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him
When he’s dow
n

You can give him coupons
And send him out
39 cents here
45 there
Look he’s
Starting to pout.

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust

And another one gone
And another one gone
Another one bites the dust…..

Yes…it’s the end of an era

I lose my sense of identity
To save a few cents.

Mama Mia
Mama Mia
Mama Mia

Let me go.

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Lyrics by one of the greatest bands….EVER

QUEEN.

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