The Pane Of Window Shopping

Every day, in every town, in Anywhere, USA it happens.

It happens innocently enough.

Whether it was Dad practicing his “Happy Gilmore” golf shots in the front yard



The neighborhood kids playing tag by throwing rocks at each other



The high school kids re enacting their favorite scene from one of the “Jackass” movies


windows get broken


Blame is pushed around, no one is responsible. It is rare when anyone even claims to have seen the window being broken.

But, it’s broken, none the less.

The keepers of the dwelling, who have the shattered glass, need to repair the damage.

Whether it be-

Mother and Father
Husband and wife
Partner and partner
Dude and baby Momma

The glass just can’t sit there….all broken n stuff.

After the ruckus of the argument of what happened, how it happened and why it happened.

Answers to all being “I don’t know”

A plan is put into action to solve the heating/cooling the neighborhood problem.

Whomever the male figure is in the relationship will inevitably find a tape measure and assess the size of said broken window.

Now that he has the proper size in his possession, he can go to the window store and buy a replacement and replace it in place of the place where the broken window was once placed.

Simple. Easy. Done.

Whomever the female is in the relationship will inevitable have a different…more complex solution to the problem.

She will not only want to get the right size, but also one that will match the rest of the windows in the house.

She will go from window store to window store shopping for the ideal pane of glass that will enhance the look, shape and reflective vision that she believes will enhance the value of the rest of the dwelling.

The male will follow in shame, letting her do the talking, and be there just to carry any pamphlets, samples, or information gathered from any and all glassmakers within a 10 county radius.

Starting with “Andy’s Windowpalooza Warehouse” and ending with “Zachary’s Pane Free Window Replacement Shoppe”.


Returning to the dwelling with no window. Just information.

By the time this process is finished. The female of the relationship will have devised a plan to have every window in the house replaced to match the one pane in the one window that was initially needing to be replaced.

In the end, after another argument, about time, money, contractors and the soon be coming argument about redecorating the house to match the new windows…..

The same solution is always reached.

Cardboard and duct tape.

Versatile. Easy. Done.

All pics accessed from Google.

Problem solving the pain of the pane from the mind of



2 thoughts on “The Pane Of Window Shopping

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s