Time Alone

by good2begone


This is my weekend…..alone.

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My wife is out at the lake for a weekend long AA conference.

The kids are at their Dad’s.

I have the house to myself.

I can eat a bunch of crap without the ingredients and sugar content being scolded into me.

I can watch a movie without having to stop it to answer questions about what is going on or what is going to happen.

I can leave the bathroom door open.

Hell, I don’t even have to wear pants if I don’t want to!

I could play rock, paper, scissors with my reflection in the mirror…for hours until someone wins.

My options are limitless.

Ahhh…just the thought of it makes me giddy.

In reality, what have I done with my weekend-

-Dishes
-laundry
-grocery shopping
-went through my clothes and got rid of stuff

While grocery shopping at “the Walmart” I got to watch a demonstration of some new fancy schmancy food slicer….

I know what you’re thinking-

“Wow! Say it isn’t so!”

Yeah…it’s so.

For that 10 minutes of time I won’t ever be able to get back I got a free peeler.

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I guess it’s European or something, it says so on the box..that or it is worth 1 euro.

I did go Goodwill hunting. I need jeans for work. I refuse to pay regular price for jeans that will be used for construction purposes. I go there and pay $5 for a pair. The best thing is the pre existing blood stains and bullet holes are at no extra charge.

Sweet deal!

While I was hunting, I was accosted by a guy who swears he knows me.

He told me that after the last time he spoke with me he got in a dispute with his “baby’s momma” and it took 15 officers of the law to restrain him.

I don’t even think there are 15 officers employed in this county.

I listened, nodded and asked him if he needed a euro peeler.

He looked at me like I was crazy and walked away.

It took 15 Goodwill volunteers to keep me from reminding him who was crazy.

Anyhoo…..

My most excellent idea for the weekend was to give my dogs baths.

I have 4 of them.

-a chihuahua
-a shitzu/weenie dog
-mini sheltie
-wolf

There is water everywhere.

Ugggh

Worst idea ever.

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That’s them post bath, chillin’ on the furniture that had to be covered…

I have until around noon tomorrow to unclog the bathtub drain and get all the paw prints off the tile and wood floors.

Hopefully by that time the house and I won’t smell like wet dog potpourri.

And maybe I can get back to family and work and get some rest.

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