The Forman Principle

by good2begone

I am a routine guy.

During the week I have a…..routine.

Right, I already said that.

I get up in the morning make coffee. Get ready for work. Check the news and garbage on Facebook. Then, grab my keys and head out the door to work.

3 days, in this past week. I neglected a key step in the routine.

My keys.

The first time, I crawled under the garage door, which was opened approximately 10 inches. I leave it open with chicken wire across the bottom and keep the dogs in there overnight. It keeps them from barking at squirrels and allows the neighborhood to sleep.

The second time I had to call my stepson, who was sleeping in his bed, to let him know I did it again.


The third time, I had to wake up my wife. I couldn’t call her. Her phone was on the sofa in the other room….right next to my phone.

I went into the backyard and knocked on the window until she awoke and peeked out to see who it was.

I think her registered firearm was in the other hand. The muzzle poked through the blinds under her half opened eyelid.

I told her I forgot my keys and also needed to change my freshly soiled shorts.

I think my muzzle leaked at the sight of her muzzle.

But never again will I forget the keys to the kingdom when I exit the castle.

I made this sign and placed it next to the doorknob. It’s a great reminder of what I need before I leave and what I am for having to use this sign in the first place.

I think I’m covered.

But as Red Forman would say…

“If a frog had wings, it wouldn’t bump it’s ass every time it hopped.”