The Bonecrusher- Stepdad Chronicles

by good2begone


In the annals of stepdaddum (?) there are events I have looked forward to in the raising of the children that I have the honor of raising.

-high school
-first car
-sporting events
-and the like

There are also events that I don’t look forward to

-first hangover
-grounding
-sports injuries
-and the like

By “and the like” on the don’t look forward to side of things I am referring to 1 single event……

COMING HOME EARLY FROM
WORK TO FIND MY 16 YEAR OLD STEPSON IN BED WITH HIS 15 YEAR OLD GIRLFRIEND.

and yes…all caps were necessary.

He says they were just watching a movie.

Unless they make movies that can be viewed without the Boob Tube on then I believe he may have told me a small fib.

And by small fib I mean…

HE THINKS I AM BLIND AND LIED

Maybe…it was a relaxation technique film which required the participants to wear no clothes and be under the covers for proper
consummation of the technique.

I hold no doubt in my mind that

-Boob
-Tube
-And consummation

We’re involved in one form or another……just not in the frame of reference that I described.

And by one form or another I mean…

THEY WERE DOING THE HORIZONTAL MAMBO

I realize that they are teenagers, and will take part in many “boners” during this delicate timeframe of life.

And by boners I mean….

bon·er
/ˈbōnər/
Noun
1-A stupid mistake.
2-An erection of the penis.

definition #1 of the word.

Definition #2 is usually the cause in most cases involving definition #1 during the afore mentioned delicate timeframe of life.

Needless to say….

My wife and I have a bone to pick with him.

Parenting-

It’s not always being proud, blue ribbons, and hopes of state championships.

Sometimes it’s uh oh, wtf, and hopes to not get thrown into the state penitentiary.

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