The Taco Uproar

by good2begone


When is a taco more than a taco?

I have been perplexed with this very question for weeks now.

The ingredients of your standard taco are

Ground beef
Lettuce
Tomato
Shredded cheese
Crispy corn tortilla shell

Of course it can be flared up with

Salsa
Sour cream
Guacamole

That pretty much sums up the taco….
Or so I thought.

First, Taco Bell…..

There motto used to be

“Make a run for the border”

Currently, they have been running FROM the border. Nothing on there menu resembles anything I ever ate in Mexico.

I mean “Locos Tacos”?

What half baked stoner fast food hippie executive came up with this idea?

“Dude….imagine it…get rid of the corn tortilla shell of the taco and replace it with huge taco shell shaped nacho cheese flavored dorito. That…..would….be…LOCO….man.”

No…it is ESTUPIDO!

Please…put down the bong while you are in the process of losing what identity of a Mexican style restaurant you have left…..Gracias.

Second, Taco Fusion

ABC news reports-

Since Taco Fusion, a Mexican restaurant known to offer unusual game meats like ostrich, camel, and bison in its tacos, added lion meat to its menu of “Safari Tacos” on May 2, the restaurant has had to field hostile calls from critics who are up in arms over the menu choice.

“[People have been] coming into the establishment and throwing punches,” the restaurant’s manager Brad Barnett told “Good Morning America.” “They say they are going to bomb us, burn us down, blow us up.”

“They threatened to kidnap Brad [Barnett] and the owner,” another manager, Bayardo Alvarez, told ABC News.

Despite the disapproval, Taco Fusion ran out of lion meat Friday night, Alvarez said.

Even though the animal is in danger of extinction, it is legal to sell and eat lion meat in the United States.

On its menu, the establishment alerts patrons that its game meat offerings are in limited supply and are available at market price. For lion meat, this translates to $34.99 a taco, compared to less expensive options like kangaroo or ostrich, both costing $13.99, Alvarez said.

I am personally not offended by lion meat tacos…..I wouldn’t eat them…..but I am not offended.

Why?

It probably tastes like chicken.

If I want a chicken taco….I will get one….and won’t have to invade Africa to satisfy my taste buds to do it.

During my high school years, I would go get drunk in Mexico on at least a weekly basis. Before stumbling back across the International Bridge I would often stop to eat at a roadside taco stand. I called it “Gatos Tacos” which translates to cat tacos for all you non Spanish speakers.

Was I, in fact, partaking in consuming feline flesh?

I don’t know, but there were no strays anywhere and a collection of cute collars with bells on them stashed in the alley. Make your own judgement.

Anyhoo….I would get 3 exotic tacos for 85 cents. Sometimes if I was feisty I got 2 orders.

What offends me about the Fusion place is-1 Mufasa taco….$34.99….

ONE TACO FOR $34.99????

A weem away…a weem away, indeed.

They must be catering to a fairly ignorant crowd if they are willing to pay that for 1 taco.

I bet refried beans and rice are extra.

And….

How come ostrich and kangaroo tacos are over $20 cheaper?

Have you ever tried to catch an ostrich or a kangaroo?

They are pretty quick….and the kangaroo has a mean left hook.

Like Forrest Gump used to say-

“Life is like an box of tacos….you never know what you are going to get.”

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