No Gloves….No Loves
The Easter weekend getaway got off to a rousing start. Up at 6 a.m., on the road at 7 to begin our 3 hour tour….our 3 hour tour.
“The weather started getting rough
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew….”
Wrong 3 hour tour. Oops…my bad…
For the actual start of the adventure, check out the blog post my better half published yesterday-
I will take over where my frustrations began……..
For the past 6 years and some odd months (and believe me, odd is a kind adjective), I have lived in what I consider the country.
-A town of under 30,000.
-Traffic jams occur when horse drawn wagons chip a spindle or something.
It’s a laid back, slow going paradise. I have learned to love it and wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.
I still refuse to switch to the code of wranglers, 10 gallon hats, boots, and
spurs….or camouflage for that matter.
That’s for another story.
I grew up in large cities. Hustle and bustle, road rage, middle fingers, noise and pollution.
Being out of that lifestyle for so long, I have to mentally prepare myself to go back.
My wife hates to drive in the city. I love it.
I honed my driving skills in my teens and twenties driving in Mexico. Which is best described as “Neighborhood NASCAR”.
The trip is going well. As we near the city limits I perk up in the seat, place my hands at 10 and 2, crack my neck and look over at my wife and say,
“Honey….it’s go time. 15 miles until we hit downtown. Hand me my driving gloves!”
She looks up from her phone, smirks, and says,
“My gloves….get my driving gloves….I’m turning on my city boy driving switch. For complete integration I NEED MY GLOVES! They are in your ‘glove box’….”
“You NEED to not drive my new vehicle like an idiot. Driving gloves? You mean those mittens with the fingers cut off that were hidden behind the owners manual? Weren’t those the ones our daughter used when she was imitating Madonna? I put those back in her room this morning.” Then she chuckles and says as she returns to posting from her phone,
I start to pout and reply,
“But…but…how can I drive in the city without my gloves? I can’t flip the switch without them….”
She gives me “the look” and says with finality,
“There will be no flip switching, no car flipping, no switch flipping or flipping cars…if I see one motorist flipping you the finger for your “city driving” skills you will be flipping channels from the sofa while I sleep in the bed…got it?”
“But we have full coverage…can’t I Dukes of Hazzard it just once?”
“Your driving is already a hazard….to my sanity. Please, just drive like a normal person.”
“Yes, dear.” I say as I always do.
As I think to myself,
“Next time, I keep the gloves in my back pocket….that way when it’s time to show the love….I got the gloves!”