The Sobriety Mechanic
I am a quitter.
I am not just a quitter….I am an infamous quitter.
I have quit on so many things I quit counting……
One of the standard items I have given up on is vehicles.
I will drive them until they break down. Then abandon them with the keys in the ignition and move on.
General maintenance and upkeep have never been one of my strong points.
If a noise is heard while I am driving that I am not used to…..I turn up the stereo to drown out the noise.
That is until the vehicle craps out.
Then it is abandoned.
This merry go round of misuse began when I was given my first vehicle and was subsequently continued until I got sober.
Honestly, I never even began to pay for a vehicle myself until 5 years into sobriety.
43 years old.
27 years of driving.
0 vehicles paid for.
7 abandoned vehicles
quit quite a record of letting others take care of my responsibilities.
I just paid off my first vehicle a few weeks ago. Shortly after it broke down.
Rather than leaving it at the side of the road and walking away, I did the responsible thing and had it towed to a mechanic and had him repair it.
Then paid for it.
I have since realized that people have been doing this since the vehicle was invented…..who knew?
“Not I” sayeth the quitter.
I go through all that to get to this….
When I quit drinking, I abandoned my old partying ways and left them at the side of the road.
And walked away.
But, I have learned since that chilly October day over 6 years ago that-
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. -Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous page 85 chapter-Into Action
There is that word “maintenance” again.
I quit drinking through AA and life got better….for me. I am not going to speak for anyone else.
The deal is..if I don’t do the things to spiritually maintain this condition of sobriety, then, off to the junkyard it goes, much like the various vehicles of my past.
How do I keep myself from quitting on myself (again)?
I’m used to quitting….I am good at it. I don’t feel bad doing it.
I just do it.
AA has given me confidence in myself that helps me to avoid quitting on myself.
I stay involved in my home group. I have a sponsor. I work with others. I pray on a daily basis to a God of MY understanding. I go to conferences. I speak when asked to. I help when not asked to.
I aid in the maintenance of my sobriety by getting out of self and into life.
I do it without getting grease all over my hands and clothes.
If I plan to keep what I have gained, I need to follow the steps that helped me get here in order to maintain the life that I am blessed with.
It’s not just for vehicles
It’s for a sober life.