The Identity of Grog

I have heard it many times-

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Well….today I will put it to the test.

I went to Google and searched “funny random strange pics”. I started flipping through the images.

My goal was to see if my mind could start a story from any of the pics. I would stop on a few and wait for the wheels of imagination to churn out a starting line to a story. What happened?

Zilcho. Nada. Nothing.

After searching through numerous pages that were indeed random, although not very strange or funny, I came across an image that sent the goo inside my skull into a frenzy.

The photo is courtesy of Google. The story is courtesy of my inner goo.


“GROG!! GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!” The Mother yelled.

“No….I don’t want to.” He defiantly replied.

“Grogamous Zanderfil Schox….don’t make me tell you again!”

He knew she was mad. That was the only time she used his full name. Still, he defied her.




He knew she had just entered his chambers. He always recognized the angry steps of her heels on the tile floor, and the sound the enormous door made while being opened.

She looked at him as he sat in the corner, elbow on his knee, fist resting on his jaw, sullen look on his face.

It brought a pain to her heart to see her giant of a son huddled in the corner like a scared kitten.

“Grog… are late for work…..there are kids in their rooms sleeping without a closet monster to scare them. What will our neighbors think?” She sternly asked.

“The neighbors all make fun of me. They say I’m too sensitive to be a closet monster. I try to be scary….I really do, Momma. I just don’t want to be a closet monster. Please don’t make me go.” Grog sheepishly replied.

“Nonsense. No one is scarier than you. 18 1/2 feet tall, 1400 pounds last time we checked, strong as an ox, bald as a bowling ball. Now put on the scary costume I made you, get up and get in that closet!”

“No. I won’t. I have been watching the kids I am supposed to scare. And you know what….” He said as he stood up and towered over her.

“What honey.” She replied

“They grow up..and…and..and grow out of being scared….and…and…and do stuff that I wanna try doing.” Grog adamantly stated before he continued.

“I’m over 490 years old and all I get to do is creep in and out of closets. Trying to scare kids…WHO DON’T WANT TO BE SCARED!! They want to get sleep so they can go to school and learn something…well…..I want to learn something too!” He finished as he stomped his foot on the floor, bouncing his Mother into the air.

His agility and size allowed him to gentle catch her before she hit the ground. He put her on top of his gigantic bed and sat next to it.

“Sorry, Momma.”

“Groggie, you are nowhere near 490. We don’t age or count like they do. We are who we are and we do what we were meant to do. It is how it has always been.” The Mother concernedly replied.

“Not for me Momma. I’ve been hiding something from you….I found a way into their world without them knowing I am really there.”he said to her without looking her straight in the eyes.

“What have you done, Grog?” She replied as she looked at his down turned face.

He let out a sigh and began.

“While you are out teaching your “scare tactics” classes at the Monster Academy, I have been getting on your computer here. I learned how to use it by watching the kids from the closet….they all have one and I wanted to try it.”

She thought to herself as she waited for him to continue-

“I knew bringing their technology into our world would be a mistake. But my own son?”

She hand motioned him to tell her more, as she was too stunned for words.

“I started a blog…..” He said quietly.

” YOU DID WHAT??? Great, so soon the monster hunters will have an address to find us at. We are doomed.” She frantically stated.

“No Momma….wait…listen. I didn’t use my name or anything….I was going to….but I got so excited about doing something different that I misspelled it…..and I learned how to get a safe email. I have been doing it for months and nothing has happened.” He said all wide eyed and excited.

“Grog….go get me my computer and show me….your…..”blog”.” She calmly asked.

With this request he jumped up off the floor and ran to get her computer.

His Mother bounced up and down on the bed with each booming footstep he took.




He returned, out of breath, computer in hand. He handed it to his Mother with great anticipation of his secret finally coming to light.

She started it up and asked for the website name. He gave it to her and waited for the screen to come alive.

His Mother inhaled. Then exhaled. And asked-

“Ok, Groggie, what is your username?”

He shook with excitement and replied,

“Ok…..ok..ok. Let me tell you first ABOUT the username….I was going to call it good2begrog…..because I like being me!…..but I got too excited…and my fingers are big so I ended up with good2begone.”

His Mother typed the username in and the password he gave her.

“You should start at the beginning Momma, so you can tell me if I have gotten better since I started.”

Grog showed her how to find the first post he had ever published, watched her hit the keys on the keyboard, much more effortlessly that he ever could, and waited for it to appear on the screen.

Post 1 of Grog’s blog

The identity of the son she thought she knew was coming alive, through words, before her very eyes.

She thought to herself as she read-

“No matter how much you know about your kids….you never really know.”


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