The Nipple Overture

by good2begone


I have woke up with pain in different areas of my body over the last few years. Age being a factor. Working in construction being another. I suppose not adequately taking care of myself over the years might somehow factor into the equation.

This morning I woke up and my nipples hurt….

WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? I’M A GUY….I DON’T EVEN NEED NIPPLES!!

That reaction brought back a memory and coincidentally one of the many reasons on why I stopped drinking.
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Its not like I recently had them pierced or anything like that. I have way to much respect for my man nipples to…do….that…to…myself….

Ok, so maybe that’s not true.

One night in Juarez, Mexico….while drinking heavy amounts of tequila, I pierced my own nipple with a safety pin…..

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Hold on…hold on…it’s not like I wasn’t safe about it.

I numbed my nipple at the bar with ice, as curious onlookers and non English speaking bartenders began to gather, as the safety pin was being sterilized in a shot of freshly poured rot gut tequila.

SAFETY FIRST!! I always say.

After having a female friend of mine flick my nipple with her long nails to make sure I could not feel anything. I picked up the safety pin out of the shot glass, and plunged it through. Then closed it.

A little blood

A little light headed

A little woozy

I put my shirt back on and then drank the congratulatory / you are a idiot shots that kept coming.

All was well until I tried to go to sleep after getting home.

Each time I rolled over…the safety pin would turn over causing excruciating pain in my man nipple.

I woke up my room mate who was passed out halfway on the couch and halfway on the floor and began babbling about pain. His response was similar to this….

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We weren’t in costume…because that would have been wierd…..

I was told to man up and take it out. I looked stupid with a safety pin in my nipple.

So I unhooked it from it’s clasp, and yanked it out…

A little more blood

A little more light headed

A lot more woozy

Oh yeah… And this..

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Not an actual picture of me but the expression is accurate.

For the next 6 months I walked around with 1 erect nipple that was more sensitive than a 2 year old without his blanket.

And yes I was called cyclops.

And that is reason # 27 of why I stopped drinking.

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(Not my nipple…because an actual picture of me with a pierced nipple would once again just be wierd)

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