The mind flip.
The journey from rational to insane.
Hallucinations appearing real.
All these wonderful things are just a drug habit away from happening. Oh, the havoc that manufactured chemicals have on the human brain.
I should know….I wasn’t just a client on the psyche ward…I thought I was the President.
I have a page here on my blog called
“The Chronicles of the Frame”
It tells the story of my fall from freedom to jail to sobriety. This is a story within that story.
During the evening prior to my arrest, the chemicals I had ingested turned on to high gear. The following is just one of the hallucinations I endured that night.
Besides the cocaine and ice (meth) that I had in my possession when arrested, I had a plethora of illegal substances that I had taken during my 5 day binge of junkiness.
-various brands and types of alcohol
– micro dots
– something called “K”. I guess they ran out of cool names and got lazy with this one.
– hits off a tank of nitrous oxide.
All of these cause various stimulus effects. My brain became over stimulated and went into fantasy mode. The ridiculous became completely plausible.
As I sat in the holding tank, awaiting to be booked and caged. I saw a sign on the wall that was my escape route to freedom. I stared at it for a while. I saw a purple line that lit up where I was in the diagram. It began to trace out the path required to return to the outside world.
A face I did not recognize came out of the map and hovered over to me. It whispered into my ear, ” All you need to do is find the key, and you will be free. Someone in here has the key. Search. Find. Be free.”
I pondered that for a minute. Looked around the room at the approximately 40-50 people in the room with me. Looked back at the map and smiled.
My mind told me, ” you can do this just be subtle and quiet. Just look for the person with the purple glow like the map had.”
I then proceeded to look for the glow. I could not see it. I switched to plan B.
It was a simple plan. Ask each person individually if they had the key or not. If they were asleep….wake them up. If their English was bad….ask in Spanish. Whatever it took to find that damn key, I was going to do it.
I don’t know how long I was it, but I guess I was causing quite the ruckus. The big men in blue came in and gave me my own private cell. ” For my own protection”, they said.
I scoffed and pouted on the concrete bench as some of the people I bothered came up to the thick glass and stared at me. They just shook their heads and stared. I was dejected. My mission was lost.
So I thought…
I looked around the small cell and to my amazement, just under the concrete near the window, I saw a key embedded just below the surface.
I tried to use my fingers to claw it out.
I needed to be out of here!
My nails broke and I began to bleed from all the scratching. The key was always just our of my reach. My fingers were raw. I kept scratching. I started to tire out. I sat back, wiped the blood off my fingers into my shirt and exhaled.
“Your time is up. The key is lost. You will be behind bars. The men in blue will kill you in here. Keep your guard up. Wait for instructions” said the face from the map.
I wait to be booked and processed.
For the record, I know now the map I saw was the map that shows the exits in case of a fire.
The worst part of all my personal hallucinations is I still vividly remember them like they were yesterday. This is one of many. Never forgotten. Never lost in time. Always there to mock me.
Waiting for my return.
4 thoughts on “Shhhh…..You Got the Key?”
Unfortunately that is not the worst of it. Just the first I have written about….
I’ve heard that writing about experiences such as these can provide some closure of a sort . . . more power to you, btw, for being brave enough to put it out there on the interwebs. 🙂
It takes the power they hold away. I am comfortable enough with my past experiences to be able write about them now. It’s a great release for me.