The 1/2 Deaf Advantage
Did you say something?
You have to talk into my good ear.
These are my basic answers for someone who tries to carry on a conversation with me while standing to the left of me.
I am 80% deaf in that ear. I was not born that way (Lady GaGa reference unintentional). It is cornucopia of mistakes and mishaps that have occurred over the years that caused this.
-knocked out cold by a baseball pitch
-knocked out by a croquet ball
– head banging too close to the mountain of speakers at metal shows during the glorious ’80’s
-being ran over by a car at 2 1/2 years old
-the mosh pit incident
– falling out of trees
-trees falling on me
-me falling off ladders trimming trees
I am a magnet for concussions and the anti-agility leader of the free world.
Not being able to hear has it’s advantages and disadvantages. I will mention the top 3 advantages.
1- I only hear half of the things my wife says. For the other half a simple “Yes Dear” usually works.
2- during meetings, all I have to do is rest my right palm on my chin and slyly place my index finger into my “good” ear to drown out all nonsense. A nod every now and then implies that I am intently listening. All the while I am probably thinking-
“I like cheese. Melted cheese, swiss cheese, nacho cheese, shredded cheese…..”
3-earplugs last twice as long