What’s NOT in a word


Times have changed. Each generation moves past the perceived faults of their predecessor’s and tries to create their own world. With each passing decade of time, acceptance of what was once shamed becomes the norm. It doesn’t happen overnight…..some things take longer than others, but make no mistake change is always coming.

With all this change. One thing has not.

The definition of the word “normal”

Normal- adj. Conforming to the standard or common type, usual, not abnormal

Normal for me may not be normal for you. To be honest I don’t know what the common type of anything is.

Its one of the positives of being open minded. To each his/her own.

The choice is yours. Stick with what someone tells you is normal. Or be your own normal.

Robots haven’t taken over the world yet. Keep conforming…..and they won’t have to.

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Open book


Every city has a story to tell. Any place you travel to there is a spot to gather tourist info or you may already know some the sights to be seen. But to really get he inside story if what a place is all about there is is really only one location to seek. Most cities and towns large and small have this ” Cultural Mecca” of society in plain sight. Maybe that’s why it is rarely referred to as a must go site to find out what is really going on. What is this mystical place that I speak of?

The Wal Mart

Here you will find every known type of human being. In all their glory. You will even be greeted as you enter the local freak show. No admission is required, and any age may enter. The rich of the community strolling across the glossy tiled floors right beside the less fortunate.

No dress code is required. Many enter wearing their pajamas, some of the female gender sporting hair curlers and house coats, mullets and concert shirts abound with males. Screaming children of all ages hang from the carts like monkeys on the loose. The elderly compete in the “slowest stay in the middle of the aisle hover round with baskets NASCAR race”.

All who enter pay homage to the smiley face who drops prices one penny at a time to the sheer amazement of all the participants.

It is quite a sight to see. Open 24 hours a day. The fun never ends.

Next Time a vacation is planned. Take the family to “the Wal Mart”. You won’t be disappointed. You may just leave with that pair of overalls you never had the courage to buy or that almost funny holiday slogan t shirt that is always available.

Either way, whatever the city or town claims itself to be. There is only one place that reveals the real truth.

The smiley face never lies.

On the (know)ledge


I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be “in the know”. Do I really want to know what being “in the know” is all about? All I know, is what I know, and I don’t know if that if that puts me “in the know” or out of the know. Maybe, being “in the know” is not all its cracked up to be. It just might be alright to say no to those that are “in the know”. You know, I’m pretty content with what I know. Maybe, they would be interested in what I know. It’s been known to happen.

All I know at this point, is that using the word know 13 times and never getting anywhere near any sort of subject matter is probably more than you wanted to know……

14.

What happened here?


I finally decided to post a picture with my blog. I like being kind of anonymous with my blog life, so it’s not a recent pic. I’m guessing it’s circa late ’70’s. Sometime before my youth became misspent but after my parents began to learn I wasn’t as angelic as they had hoped for.

I’m not sure if I am pouting because I didn’t get what I wanted, which happened often, or I was being scolded for something. As a child I got scolded often. My brothers and I often joke that we never really knew our names. The common question heard around our household from our Dad was-

“What have you shittin’ kids done now?”

I began to ponder what may have prompted my Mother to take this picture in the first place. Shuffling through the cluttered file closet that represents my memories I came up with a few guesses…..

1- I once left a bowling ball in the front yard. No pins, just the ball. A friend of mine thought it was a plastic blow up bouncy ball and took a sprint at it to try to kick it to the moon…… The ball didn’t move and he received 3 broken toes for his trouble.

2- I once shot my brother in the back with a BB gun. To be fair I gave him a running start, and I was normally a terrible shot. Normally…

3- I once started up a game of baseball in the front yard. We didn’t have a baseball, per say, but we did have a nice set of colorful Croquet balls. One dining room window and a family heirloom vase later the game was over.

4- I once, or twice, or multiply times placed pieces of sticky tape on the paws of my Mom’s cat. Still hilarious. For me…not my Mom.

I really don’t know what I did to be immortalized in this sad yet poignant pose. I stopped well short of the 1000 words it may be worth, but it’s still priceless none the less.

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Don’t need a day


The calendar shows different days commemorating special occasions. There seems to be a day for everything.

I would attempt to list them but I will assume that calendars are readily available to most people in one form or another.

Today is Father’s Day. I am a step father. Say what you will, but I count it as one in the same. I aid in raising the 2 children that my wife gave birth to. I do my best to teach them right from wrong, allow them to make their own decisions on choices they make (whether I agree with them or not), be there for them with no strings attached, and show them the love I have for them as often as possible.

I don’t need a day on the calendar to be appreciated as a Father. I receive that every day of the calendar year. Watching the children grow into young adults is a reward in itself. Having their admiration and respect and love is better than a card and a t shirt that says “World’s Best Step Dad”. ( I don’t know if they make cards or shirts for step dads but you get the point).

They have a Father. He is their Dad. I am not here to compete with him nor have I ever been out to prove I could or should be their Dad. I have had the fights with my step son. Where one sentence is uttered in rage. It was true but it hurt none the less…

“YOU’RE NOT MY DAD!!”

They don’t call me Dad. They call me by first name. I am content with that. But make no mistake when they are with my wife and I believe that I make a very good “father figure” for them to look up to. We have a wonderful relationship that continues to grow.

I try to be the Father that my Dad was to me and my siblings. Sometimes it was good. Sometimes it was bad. Sometimes it was downright ugly. But he was a good man and someone I continue to look to for inspiration on Fatherly things.

He passed away 12 years ago. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about him and how he and my Mother raised 5 children without ending up in the looney bin.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

Still.

Every day.

Leave the decade alone


Up until today, I was proud to say that I came of age during thar ’80’s. I took part in making big hair spandex loud obnoxious “metal” music popular. I wasn’t in one of the bands but I bought all the music, went to the concerts and thought that sex, drugs and rock n roll was the lifestyle to be had.
My first concert was Billy Squier at the age of 13. I don’t know of many people who are willing to admit that….but the truth is what it is. From that it escalated at a rapid pace. Some of the bands I saw ( I can’t remember them all) were-

Motley Crüe 3 times
Iron Maiden 3 times
Sammy Hagar/ Van Hagar- 5 times
Night Ranger 2 times
Guns and Roses 1/2 times…..not the ’80’s but hard rock not a full time because they got pissed off and didn’t finish the show.
Def Leppard 4 times

Of all those listed, Def Leppard had the most Walkman playtime. I was fascinated by the band and their history. Their drummer lost an arm in an car accident. He learned to play again with one arm and a special drum kit. They never looked for another drummer. 4 years in-between albums. 2 great albums, by the way. Pyromania and Hysteria. Then their guitarist died from Alcoholism. The band carried on. So much tragedy and they kept going.

Upon seeing a Internet article on a new movie called “Rock of Ages” I got quite excited. The title is from one of the great songs from Pyromania. I thought it was a movie about the rise and tragedy of the band that kept going.

Then I watched the trailer.

An ’80’s karaoke a la Glee style musical extravaganza?????

Tom Cruise as an aging rockstar?????

Singing????

Ugh….

None of this sounds appealing on any level. Any of the bands who have agreed to let their music be “Glee-a-Fied” for the purpose of more royalties has officially been taken off my iPod.
The ’80’s had enough cheese events attached to it. Can’t we just let the decade stay in the past where it belongs.
I now profess myself as coming of age in the ’90’s!!! That is until Justin Beiber is starring in a musical about the Grunge era.

Oops! They did it again.


I typed wardrobe malfunction into Google and pressed search. There is almost no limit to the information that resulted.

Almost being the key word.

2 items kept popping out at me….. Not those 2, well ok those did too but that’s not the point here. Although they were quite pointy…..FOCUS, please.

1- all were female “celebrities”
2- no blame was placed on the manufacturer of the malfunctioning wardrobe.

These people spend bookoo bucks to uphold their image and look and dress better than us normal folk. They hire their lawyers to bring the pain on companies who misuse their likeness on a whim, but when (by accident) their nipples pop out of their high priced wardrobes (oops) no one is too blame? It was even caught on camera!! Also, quite unfortunate that said celebrities were in such a hurry that they forgot to wear their “over the shoulder boulder holders”. Quite a travesty of justice. The manufacturers should count their blessings that these women are passive with their “mistakes” in wardrobe.

I had a wardrobe malfunction at a pool once. The string on by trunks broke. I didn’t notice until I jumped off the high dive n WHOOSH! Off they came. I was thinking about how graceful I looked and didn’t notice when I came out of the pool that I came out of my trunks.

I got my picture taken as well.

It was a mug shot that went along well with my indecent exposure charge.

Life after


I graduated high school 25 years ago this past week. Trust me when I say it doesn’t feel like yesterday. The changes have been grand since then. I became nothing of what I thought I would be at this age. It’s not depressing, I am extremely happy with my life and would not change a thing. It’s just funny how things never turn out as expected.
I had grandiose dreams of being rich and famous. Driving fast cars and dating supermodels. Partying all night and sleeping all day…..
I accomplished the last two for quite a few years. Come to think of it spending so much time on those two dreams might have hindered my ability to accomplish the first 4 (I hate a-ha moments).
25 years later. I realize that I quit trying to live in a dream, and started to live a life. I love what I do for a living, between my wife n I, we get the bills paid and we support the family ( It’s a we deal, not a me deal). I drive a used truck. We are neither rich nor famous but at the end of EACH day we are thankful for what we have.
Graduating from high school is like being shot out of a cannon. I was in the dark about the real world until I was let loose into it….

BOOM!!!

No one told me there was no net to catch me when I fell. I had to learn the hard way. I for one am glad I did.

30% chance of brain


It’s not rocket science….but if it seems like it, we have the how to books for you.

How to ________ for Dummies….

I don’t know who came up with the idea, but I would like to stab them in the eye with a sharp object. If its not bad enough that we don’t have he confidence to ask someone with the knowledge to help us, we have to further berate ourselves by buying a book that labels us as unintelligent.

I bought one once. I had the distinct feeling that I was being followed by someone, saying things such as-

“Don’t trip on your shoelaces, dummy”

“The sign says push…not pull, dummy”

“Pull the tab on the can of you plan to drink it, dummy”

I don’t think I am dumb. What was dumb was purchasing a book that told me I was.

We all need help with something at one time or another. Increasing our knowledge on subjects, increases brain activity and allows to answer question with an answer other than “I don’t know.” The information we seek is out there. It doesn’t take a dummy to know where to find it. Just the willingness to ask for help.

Wash, Rinse, Repeat


I like tattoos. Im not a tattoo junkie. I do not case out tattoo parlors and artists to ink up my next piece. I don’t watch tattoo shows or subscribe to tattoo magazines or websites. I have 5 tattoos that I have gotten over the years and can happily say that I don’t regret any of them.

I know and see people who have tattoo sleeves that cover their arms and some that have them up to their necklines. I don’t judge them or assume anything about them. Tattoos are a choice.

However…..

I also know and have seen and have had conversations with “tattoo people” who take it too far…. In my opinion, that is. The conversations that take place are not anything out of the ordinary. Sports, family, life in general are typical topics. Whatever the topic is I usually have only one thought that goes through my mind. It clouds out everything around me. I hear nothing said until I practically yell in shock one simple statement….

“You have a tattoo…. On YOUR FACE?!?!”

I have always reserved the right to wear a face tattoo at specific places.

1- sporting events
2- children’s parties
3- carnivals….with children
4- Mike Tyson social
5- while visiting the indigenous Ainu
Tribe in Japan

I’m all for being noticed. It’s part of our culture to want to stand out as individuals but…

ON YOUR FACE?

I seriously want to pull a trick my Mom always pulled me when I had something on my face that wasn’t supposed to be there. You know the one, she had to have learned it in Mom Squad 101…

Spit on a handkerchief and proceed to man handle the tattooed face to attempt to wipe off said tattoo.

Nothing says I didn’t get enough positive encouragement as a child than a well placed face tattoo. I like my face. I didn’t have the perfect childhood. I don’t know many that did.

There are ways to face the troubles of your past without defacing your face for the future.

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