More than 1/2 a decade ago ( sounds dramatic, huh?) I finally had to pay some consequences for my actions. No matter how movies make it seem, being a thieving alcoholic drug addict is not glamorous. It’s the type of bad that just gets worse. It got so bad for me that
I prayed for death as I continued to abuse my favorite things ( bourbon and cocaine oh how I sometimes still miss thee) in hopes of achieving it. But alas the big man upstairs had other plans.
Short county jail term.
5 year probation.
Small town halfway house.
My reset button had been tripped.
I have been off the sauce and the juice for almost 6 years. I have been a member of “The” 12 step program all that time. Scoff or judge if you will. It works.
Beginning to live at the age of 37 is not fun. The things I took for granted previously take a big role in my life now.
Personal hygiene- being used to not showering I never really smelled myself. Plus massive cocaine use tends to affect the ability to do so.
Work- stealing is not a job although it was a full time occupation.
Relationships-there are no bonds with crooks, dealers, addicts. Just abuse- all forms.
So, now I’m clean ( deodorant and all) I have a steady job that I love (The motto love what you do, do what you love fits nicely here), married. Happily married.
But I have gained a new problem.
I am now a “house cleaning everything has its place put your shoes away do your homework where are my keys stop playing video games does anyone in this house know how to change out a roll of toilet paper how would I know where your bra is time for bed I need to get away so I will go do laundry” step father of 2 husband to one kind of guy.
I have become a male version of my Mother.
I took her for granted too. My payback is doing for my family what she did for ours growing up.
Mom’s never get enough credit for all they do and still they keep doing.
On my short list of role models, she’s at the top.