The Bullpen

by good2begone

I’m not a huge baseball fan, but I know enough to know what going on during a game. For instance, I know that when a pitcher is running on empty, the manager calls the bullpen to get another one ready to finish the game.
I use this analogy to talk about something else. I got home from work today and was thirsty. I really wanted a tall glass of homemade sweet tea. Sure, I could have bought one on the way home. There are plenty of places to purchase a good sweet tea around here but I had just made a pitcher of my homemade sweet tea last night and was really looking forward to having some to quench my thirst.
I walked in, said hello to my 2 teenage step kids, and headed for the fridge. With a smile on my face, I opened the shiny stainless steel doors. The light came on, and sitting on the top shelf with a grand spotlight on it was this large pitcher with enough tea in the bottom in it to possibly use as mouthwash…….I said possibly but even that is a stretch.
I know both kids know about the “Pitcher Replacement Policy”. I have stated and restated it at various volumes and fit throwing levels. I have use props, thirst deprivation pie charts, do it yourself tea making videos, and lying on the floor with the empty pitcher in hand kicking and screaming. Not a pretty sight. I’m over six feet tall, the pitcher on question was large and glass.

The key word in that last sentence- WAS.

The bullpen was not empty. Items needed get a full pitcher back in the game were close at hand. As Manager for the home team I regret to inform my players that we are no longer a pro team….or even a farm club…..I can confidently confirm that TEA ball is out of the question.

The bullpen is closed.