Staying sober in AA and cliches go hand in hand. If an individual sticks around long enough…or more than 2 weeks, chances are they will start slinging the overused phrases like a pro.
-one day at a time
-let go, let god
-think before you drink
-put the plug in the jug
- acceptance is the key
- take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth
The list goes on.
There is one cliche in particular that really…really pisses me off.
It is thrown around in the particular group that I am a part of more times than the chips are handed out.
-someone may die in order for you to stay sober.
What the fudge does that mean?
(only I didn’t say fudge)
People have died around me ALL my life.
- I have seen people get murdered and I didn’t stay sober.
-I have seen people OD, and I didn’t stay sober.
- old age…not sober.
-Car wrecks…nope
Now…
Since I have remained sober I could rewrite most of that list and I did stay sober.
But I seriously doubt it was because they died.
Apparently to some of the old timers and wanna be old timers of the group I attend, there are some things that have to happen for me to remain sober.
-go to meetings…..check
-get honest….pretty much a check
-get a sponsor…check
-work the steps…check
-work with others-check
-stay involved in service…check
-wait for someone to die….no check
I have a hard time believing that the big guy upstairs is watching over me and saying to me as I pray to him..,.
“You know, good2begone….you might have a chance by doing those things but just to be sure I am going to have someone die for you to stay sober. You can thank me later.”
The next time I hear someone in a meeting say that particular phrase, I am going to smash all the coffee pots and say in the most caring voice possible,
“The coffee pots had to die for you all to stay sober today.”
And
“Be careful, there’s broken glass and hot spilled coffee over here. Carry on.”
You’re right! I call it tribal language and it’s how a set or group of people communicate.
Sometimes the tribe upsets me.
My brother died of cirrhosis, etc. My dad died 6 months later. Not alcohol-related, but he died. Did my other brother get sober? No. He drank more. Now that he’s recovering following the intervention, will our brother’s death keep him sober? My guess is, you’re right–it will be the things checked off on your list. Smashing coffee pots made me chuckle.
Unresolved anger issues from a long work week. I heard that cliche and lost it……
No coffee pots were injured as a result though…yet.
Most of the cliches irritate the crap out of me. But so did a lot of the dickwads I used to hang out with in bars and back alleys. I consider AA far more palatable.
Touché!
I seriously doubt there is a sobriety fairy that taps people with a wand on the shoulder to die so others can retain their sobriety. Sick and twisted words. Going to Google it. Could it be a poorly worded metaphor that unhealthy relationships may have to die once one gets sober? If so, that cliche should be revised. L.
Interesting perspective. I can’t relate, but interesting nonetheless. The coffee pot made me giggle too.
Thanks.
I’m not a big fan of AA & the cliches can be dangerous. This is a particularly stupid one & someone forgot to think it through to it’s logical conclusion. Really like your blog though!
I really don’t know if it is a well know saying or just from my neck of the woods but either way it is disturbing to me. I’m glad you like the blog!