Alchemy


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“To be totally honest, I don’t know who I am. And I don’t think people ever will know who they are. We have to be humble enough to learn to live with this mysterious question. Who am I? I am a mystery to myself. I am someone who is in this pilgrimage from the moment that I was born to the day to come that I’m going to die. So, what I have to do is to honor this pilgrimage through life. And so I am this pilgrim who’s constantly amazed by this journey.”

— Paulo Coehlo, from “The Alchemy of Pilgrimage”

Not my photo….not my words…But I like them just same.

Time Change


I ain’t as young as I once was….I ain’t as old as I’ll ever be.

Ageismstereotyping and discriminating against individuals or groups on the basis of their age. This may be casual or systematic.
 
This word and definition is a basic description of what has happened to the music I grew up with…..although the terminology is not quite as direct.

The music I so fondly am referring to is not classified as a genre such as rock or rap.

It was at one time……

But that time was long ago and is long gone.

Now the proper way to reference it is a subtle…..

YET QUITE OBVIOUS

form of ageism.

It is systematically making me feel uncasual about my age.

I’m not getting old…..

I’m classic….

I’m old school…..

I’m clumped into a decade that has decayed.

The hair bands all have receding hair lines.

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The gangsta rappers who fought the power are now media moguls and moviestars.

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And, I’m here stuck with assless chaps, a big clock necklace, boombox, and enough spandex and aqua net to start a worthless revolution.

Yeah…well…we all want to change the world.

Being labeled is wrong.

I will not stand for it.

Besides….

It’s time for my afternoon nap.

Man Up


Not sure if CNN and NASA believe people in general just dont know the definition of words they use in their breaking news stories

OR

if they just decided to dumb it down just to reiterate their beliefs.

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Just to make sure I ain’t dumb,  I looked up the definition….

un·manned
adjective

not having or needing a crew or staff.
“an unmanned space flight”

synonyms:automatic, computerized, remote-controlled, robotic
“an unmanned spacecraft”

One small misstep for man……one giant setback for robot kind.

Duh

Wolf Brand Chillin’


While the husband is away…the wife will arm herself in case of an apocalypse.

I have been working overnights…..ummm…working,

which leaves my wife and daughter at home by themselves until dawn.

I took the precautions of having our wolf inside for protection…just in case.

Normally when she is inside, she patrols each room and won’t relax until she knows everyone and everything is where it should be.

We live in a safe neighborhood, but, as crazy as the world has gotten, you just never know.

A few nights ago, she called me at a weird hour to tell me she had the guns loaded and had to check the house because she heard something. Everything turned out to be fine. She just wanted to inform me that she got spooked and doesn’t like me working nights.

I said,

“What happened? Did Mischa (our wolf) wake you up and alert you and that’s why you decided to get the guns?”

Her reply was sent by text message-

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A wolf in sleeps clothing.

UGGGH!

Figures Of 8


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I can’t speak for anyone else…..

Mainly because sticking my arm up the backside of a dummy to make him speak has never been in my repertoire.

I did have a minor league stint for a triple A voice throwing club but a vocal cord injury ended my shot at making the big leagues.

Tisk tisk

This isn’t about my shattered dreams of ventriloquism.

It is about the shining reality of who I am today.

8 years ago, on October 13, 2006, I started anew.

I didn’t want to start anew.

I wanted to do what I had always done.

But…

I was given a choice by a judge.

Get sober and stay sober for 5 years or go to prison for 2-20.

I didn’t want to stay or get sober, but prison was not a very enticing alternative.

So, I chose to do what I didn’t want to do in order to avoid what I knew I would get if I didn’t.

And here I am.

8 years beyond that date.

For me….

Life works today.

All because a judge gave this dummy a chance.

The Night Shift With Tiler Swift


My work days have become work nights….

And not just your regular, run of the mill nights. I’m talking all nighters.

Since last Sunday I have been making the dough by remodeling a pizza chain….which shall remain nameless.

I’m not a fan of working nights, but they apparently have to stay open during their regular business hours to be able to keep their dough going out the door.

They kneed their dough to sell to keep making the dough for business.

(See what I did there?)

Anyway….

The way the Domino’s fell I get to be the one to run the show.

Work starts at 10 pm. And rolls all the way through until 8am.

What do they want done?

Remodel the front of the store and update the back of the store with a viewing window for the art of pizza making and subway tile for their prep area.

I am swiftly becoming quite the tile God.

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Therefore, for the purpose of this job I will dub myself….

“Tiler Swift”

The hours are terrible. I haven’t pulled a full week of all nighters in years.

If I still had bad hair, a few bags of Columbian wonder dust, cheap beer and hammer pants I would swear I was back in the early nineties.

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But….

I have no hair and have been off the dust and Keystone for years.

I do wear pants and have a hammer, though.

So I guess it all evens out.

Roughly 2 more weeks to go…

Time to shake it off and get back to work.

As we say in the business….it’s hammer time.

AT AT Attaboy


Browsing the major news sites is a thing for me.

I used to read the articles that followed headlines……

But the headlines are depressing enough.

Until now.

The mobile site for USAToday had this photo along with the headline that is under it.

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George Lucas is coming out of retirement to head the fight against Ebola?

Now we know how the empire will strike back.

Let’s hope Jar Jar Binks is not on his list of advisors.